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Dark Poetry #4
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Neo
Junior Member
since 2007-08-08
Posts 13


0 posted 2007-08-08 05:58 PM



That feeling I do divine,
across the universe
of my mind; to gaze
into the only thing
that matters at this
very moment in time,
and it is you,
the one I gaze through,
with my naked eyes.

© Copyright 2007 Neo - All Rights Reserved
Twilight Warrior
Member
since 2007-02-22
Posts 106
The World That Never Was
1 posted 2007-08-10 09:01 PM


This is a good poem with the potential to become better. I'm not very good at critiquing work but, try to lengthen it next time.

"One last drink and the bottle breaks, returning us to the dust from whence we came"

Yoinn
Senior Member
since 2007-08-16
Posts 649
Michigan
2 posted 2007-08-16 07:26 PM


I liked this one alot Neo. Says much in little space.  ( Not really a dark poem tho
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