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Dark Poetry #4
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Figure it out...
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Figure it out... |
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chefguru New Member
since 2007-07-24
Posts 1 |
(this is something I had an idea for recently, and I just wanted to test the waters and see what people thought, so here goes...) Figure it out... ------------------- Silently, I walk this world outside of time and feeling memories haunt me as I go each step more unappealing bound to nothing, floating free onward still I trudge darkness pressing ever in years gone by, my only judge Passing days seem just a dream little left but smoke and mist every one just slips away as grains of sand through failing fist somehow though, I carry on enwrapped in nightmare's dreary shroud Hounded by the monsterous past ever seperate from the crowd little left of what once was passing time leaves just a hole My hollow shell that once held life encases just an empty soul [Author's note: The reason I'm looking for feedback is because of the "idea" that this poem is based on. I'm sure you'll notice the A,B,C,B pattern, but the splits between the sections are the idea, the poem is intended to be read straight through, without pausing between the sections (even though it breaks up some of the rhymes)... It was tough for me to write this because the "idea" was built around creating a poem when the first letter of each line was already predetermined, and I had to MAKE the lines fit based on that. Go back and re-read it and see if you can "figure it out" now.] [This message has been edited by chefguru (07-24-2007 12:24 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2007 chefguru - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
welcome to Pip!  this is really great  |
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BrittanyJ Member
since 2007-06-03
Posts 461Come find me? |
"bound to nothing, floating free onward still I trudge darkness pressing ever in years gone by, my only judge" It really is great!! The flow, the rhyming, the wording...all amazing!! Wonderfully done, and welcome to pip So no more hiding all your pain, you deserve a new start. That's why i'm closing myself away, this is a message from your heart. |
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blue face Member
since 2007-06-03
Posts 92 |
This is great very nice, welcome to pip! hope to read more. Sarah |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
there are days when I think: Somebody Please Help me  M |
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