My Own Private Shameful Show

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Sorrow
Member

since 2006-06-14

Posts 83
Ireland

0 posted 2007-01-06 01:57 PM

      In the deepest caverns of my
      shattered conscious I rest my dirty self.
      Inside and out a dull undead glow
      without a reason to push on alone
      my own private, shameful show.

      My wings lay tattered on the floor
      I'm just too scared too fly anymore
      When you live on the edge of a knife,
      you feel, you scream,
      you embrace every slice.

      Unmatched by any reason why
      my heart and mind have chosen
      to die while leaving behind
      a lulling sigh
      that will echo forever
      in my loved ones goodbye

      And as I sink remember this...

      ...How can you take a life
      that wasn't there
      to start with?

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

1 posted 2007-01-09 08:40 PM

      ...How can you take a life
      that wasn't there
      to start with?

My fav part... I really liked this poem very thoughtful... hope to read more

hunnie

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

sgreybe
Member

since 2000-04-28

Posts 209
London, UK

2 posted 2007-01-10 07:11 AM

Hi Sorrow

This was a wonderful poem to read. Wrenching and I could really feel the pain. I loved the flow of it too. Great work.
Sylvia

Kira Aso
Member

since 2006-09-26

Posts 351
Closer to Hell...

3 posted 2007-01-11 02:58 AM

When you live on the edge of a knife,
you feel, you scream,
you embrace every slice.

A very painful poem it sounds...
You did an amazing job!

Enjoyed it much
Luv Kira

arthur
Senior Member

since 2001-08-14

Posts 678
england

4 posted 2007-01-17 10:10 AM

i enjoyed reading this
arthur

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

5 posted 2007-01-17 08:38 PM

I liked it. I like all the visual stuff. It really rocked.

-GIS

When the chain that holds my wallet
snug is broken,
I find the truth in that I own nothin.

Tomer
Senior Member

since 2002-06-28

Posts 1168
Michigan

6 posted 2007-03-04 03:18 PM

Well done piece! Really enjoyed these first two lines...

"In the deepest caverns of my
shattered conscious I rest my dirty self."

Wonderful write, great imagery. Look forward to more.

Seeker72
Member

since 2007-02-24

Posts 387
Oregon USA

7 posted 2007-03-05 12:54 PM

quote:
Unmatched by any reason why
      my heart and mind have chosen
      to die while leaving behind
      a lulling sigh
      that will echo forever
      in my loved ones goodbye

Very nice.

Good poem.

butterflylp
Junior Member

since 2007-02-27

Posts 11
ky,usa

8 posted 2007-03-05 12:05 PM

I love this. The last line really touched me. Please keep writing. I look forward to reading more.

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