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Dark Poetry #4

TIDAL WAVES OF TERROR

Musicmaker1969

Senior Member

since 2000-06-25

Posts 589
Peterborough, Ontario Canada

0 posted 2006-11-10 10:48 PM

In my dreams I see them
Crashing on the shore
Tidal waves of terror
Destroying more and more.

Reaching to the Heavens
They destroy my life
Raging with great power
I drown in fear and strife.

On the beach I’m standing
And my time’s run out
The wall of terror strikes
I wake up with a shout.

This terror haunts my mind
Raging in my soul
This giant wave storms in
And frightens me with woe.

Jesus is my Rock, music is my sanity.
Sheri Liegh Adams
[email protected]

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

1 posted 2006-11-12 05:49 AM

The title was compelling. The stanzas need to be stronger for such a strong title. Its weak and needs less forced rhyme. The idea was mediocre but needs to be more coherent. It should go somewhere. If you are going to take the idea of a nightmare you need to illustrate thats what it is.

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

2 posted 2006-11-14 12:37 PM

i liked this very nice flow...
hunnie

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~

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