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Dark Poetry #4

Meadow of Poppies

JenniferMaxwell

Member Elite

since 2006-09-14

Posts 2423

0 posted 2006-10-23 09:48 PM

Strange how memories blend into a portrait
or landscape of things I’d often prefer
to fail to remember - the orderly passing me a brown paper bag
with your watch and your glasses or the stone cutter
across the field, chiseling your name in marble.
Now as I plant wine coloured mums for your birthday
in front of that stone I'd prefer not to remember,
the landscape around me turns into a meadow of poppies
surrounded by weeping willows.

[This message has been edited by JenniferMaxwell (10-25-2006 11:37 PM).]

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

1 posted 2006-10-24 08:49 PM

Aren't poppies like flowers of the dead or something? Nice poem.

-GIS

When the chain that holds my wallet so
Tight and snug is broken,
Do I find the truth
That I really own nothin.

Alwye

Moderator

Member Elite

since 1999-06-16

Posts 3850
In the space between moments

2 posted 2006-10-25 11:53 PM

I liked how you added in the weeping willows at the end. Nice touch.

JenniferMaxwell

Member Elite

since 2006-09-14

Posts 2423

3 posted 2006-10-26 12:36 PM

Thank you both very much for your kind comments.

Kira Aso
Member

since 2006-09-26

Posts 351
Closer to Hell...

4 posted 2006-10-27 12:22 PM

Nice Jennifer!
Enjoyed this sooooo much!!!

Hugs and Hershey bars for the great poet!

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

5 posted 2006-10-27 07:03 PM

I enjoyed the contrasting imagery, the stone cutter chiseling, the poppies, the willows,
the feel of sadness and an inability to do a damn thing about the events unfolding.

JenniferMaxwell

Member Elite

since 2006-09-14

Posts 2423

6 posted 2006-10-27 09:33 PM

Thanks very much for your kind words and input. Still a revising this so it's good to know what works for the reader.

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