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Dark Poetry #4

Been Here Before

Sorrow
Member

since 2006-06-14

Posts 83
Ireland

0 posted 2006-08-11 12:52 PM

I have the perfect vision of you in my mind.

I see our love eternal and our past left behind.
But I have been here before and it always ends the same,
I'm sick of playing this never ending game.

I see the smallest opening and believe that this is it,
finally I'm happy, finally it fits.
But in this mess of confussion you and I cannot take hold
of what is in arms reach to destroy this temporal fold.

I love you more than ever, it hurts to say I do but it's more important for you to know every word I breath is true.

Maybe some day you'll see; how deep your everything is slit in me...

cherrys_rule
Member

since 2006-03-18

Posts 442

1 posted 2006-08-11 07:34 PM

MAN WAS THIS WAS AWSOME!!! But there was the 2nd to the last line where you put

I love you more than ever, it hurts to say I do but it's more important for you to know "ever" word I breath is true.

should it be every? Just saying.

other then that like I said before your poem was AWSOME.

Hope to see more from you in the future.

~Courtney~

Sorrow
Member

since 2006-06-14

Posts 83
Ireland

2 posted 2006-08-11 09:30 PM

thanks cherrys_rule for your reply and pointing out that typo! I've changed it now. Glad you like my poem.

trUstNooNe
Member

since 2006-05-21

Posts 91

3 posted 2006-08-13 08:54 PM

deff. can relate to this*good write,like it alot.*

sgreybe
Member

since 2000-04-28

Posts 209
London, UK

4 posted 2006-09-14 06:40 AM

Hey Sorrow,

My friend this was great! A wonderful read, I can so relate and I loved the flow and the imagery. Brilliant! Sylvia

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