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Dark Poetry #4
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Those who wait
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Those who wait |
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zaz Junior Member
since 2006-07-09
Posts 26 |
Death eyes laughing into a vast wasteland, shrieks of pain and fear music for condemned souls, lost in hell created by greed and self righteousness. Fragments of bodies, a bloody puzzle for all to see. Despair and hate rule the day, an obscene waste of human design. Children wandering littered streets, numb to chaos around, tear streaks on starving little bodies, innocence ravished by the pall of war. Mothers and fathers guilt for pride unleashed, allowing destruction total in the name of God. Who can say what is right, when all that is left is food for buzzards, circling in patient watch. |
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| © Copyright 2006 Thad Geer - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Hanson New Member
since 2006-07-21
Posts 3New York, United States |
well written and it has a sophisticated perspective. i really like the detail with the children and the parents at the end. i'd say maybe incorporate an extra stanza or a few lines of that kind of specific detail in the beginning as well. i think that could be a huge improvement, but like i said, it's well done now. kudos  |
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trUstNooNe Member
since 2006-05-21
Posts 91 |
when i read it i could see it in my head.you made it very intersting and when i got to the end i wanted it to keep going... a very very good write!! |
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the quell Member
since 2006-07-19
Posts 144Liverpool, UK |
Quite chilling. Marvellous imagery; you can't beat a nice bit of apocalyptic ruin! Well done |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
I felt the overburden of a mountain crash down, in the intensity of this write. Shook me inside, like an uncontrollable sob. Extremely well written. TD |
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