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Dark Poetry #4
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Her Little Secert
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Her Little Secert |
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trUstNooNe Member
since 2006-05-21
Posts 91 |
Peace of Mind is what she lacks Sitting here A selfish bratt. Trapped inside Her worries, Scared to Be alone inside her own mind. Daydreams scare Her, Yet nightmares Bring comfort in the heat of the night. A wave Of pain flows over her, When she's Having the best of time. She blows It off and acts like she's just fine. But she Will never let anyone close enough to see the real inside. Everyone worries,But she lets them know that she'll be o.k. What she Won't tell is that her mind is slowly slipping away. To a Place she can not control, Where demons Lie,And fire Rolls. No one Will know,And that Is her key to all her decit & trickery. She sends Her love before she goes. How i Know all this.?. Is simply because she told me so... |
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| © Copyright 2006 mar lize - All Rights Reserved | |||
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niere Member
since 2006-04-23
Posts 77 |
Great. write... but it's always a shame when people bottle things up inside. The flow was great and it is a brilliant piece though  |
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Sorrow Member
since 2006-06-14
Posts 83Ireland |
"What she Won't tell is that her mind is slowly slipping away. To a Place she can not control, Where demons Lie,And fire Rolls." - This is my faveorite piece. It's so sad and definate. It makes you feel that there is no hope for this girl at all. Nice piece trUstNoone! |
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Digital_Hell Member
since 2006-06-05
Posts 202Amidst black roses |
great write. quite often we refuse to let people in. refuse to let them close. most enjoyable read hells gate reads Abandon hope all ye that enter here |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Wow... I liked this a lot! Truthfully the ending was such a suprise for me, where you talk about how you know this. I was thinking it was going to be something different, but it was just plain and simple... It's an interesting read, i'm sure that we could all learn a little something from this poem. I would love to see more of your poems in the future so I hope you will continue to post them  @-->--- |
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rockbabe Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 105 |
For me this poem was sad, filled with emotion. The ending ....well I would have used this : How do I know... I feel this from within. ? Just my opinion Great write! Hope to read more of your work soon... |
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Venus1974 Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 79Tennessee, USA |
"How i Know all this.?. Is simply because she told me so..." I loved the way you ended this actually...its like seeing yourself as a third person?? I can so relate to much of this as well keep up the good work and the best thing we can do if there is nothing else we can do is to vent thru our poetry Peace and happiness to us all, Venus |
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Bobomo Junior Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 35 |
All I have to say is that I really enjoyed this piece. Thanks for posting it. |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
nicely written....i was going to give up on reading in this part of pip but i picked your poem and decided to read a little more. good write Krysti* A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your |
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Decriel Junior Member
since 2006-08-08
Posts 27 |
Ahh... I take my hat off to you, brilliant write and a true write |
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burntsiena Junior Member
since 2006-08-10
Posts 34Rhode Island |
Hey, I enjoyed the poem and how the very end leaves you wondering - is this the narrator speaking of themself or does it mean that the narrator reluctantly let someone in anyways |
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