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Sorrow
Member

since 2006-06-14

Posts 83
Ireland

0 posted 2006-06-17 11:05 AM

Invisible Me

They don't know,
They don't care,
They don't see,
See me there.
Do I care?
Should I dare?
Do I wish,
Wish I wasn't there?
Will they ever see,
the real me,
Broken away,
No longer wish to stay,
Don't be scared,
This is me,
The real me,
Without the mask,
Without the act,
Without the things
You all took back

Internalexile
Junior Member

since 2006-06-15

Posts 38
UK

1 posted 2006-06-17 12:23 PM

That poem is really true, so many people hide behind false smiles and act like other people, if only we could all be ourselves!! Great write my friend

Internalexile

Let the moonlight paint your face, let the stars be your cloak...

Frank W. Torres
Member

since 2006-06-10

Posts 133

2 posted 2006-06-17 01:08 PM

Alright! You write well.

aliway
Member

since 2006-03-05

Posts 185
With in your eyes

3 posted 2006-06-18 02:55 PM

i like it, its so true.

*leah

Digital_Hell
Member

since 2006-06-05

Posts 202
Amidst black roses

4 posted 2006-06-20 03:07 PM

very truthfull. i like it a lot. a good write.

trUstNooNe
Member

since 2006-05-21

Posts 91

5 posted 2006-06-21 02:44 PM

tru*tru*i love the truth you brought into this poem...nice!

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

6 posted 2006-06-21 07:44 PM

Well… not to sound the same as everyone else, but this is so true! Lol…

I liked the way you were able to express the emotions in this, the way you were able to get people to think “oh this is so true” I think you have real talent when the reader is able to relate/feel the poem… does that make sense? I don’t know!

You did a great job on this one, I seem to like all of your poems though, so I don’t think I’ll ever say you did a “bad” job… I loved the first four lines, for me this poem was like me at times. I can relate well to it.

Thanks for sharing once again, I loved it

@-->---

niere
Member

since 2006-04-23

Posts 77

7 posted 2006-06-22 07:06 AM

I really enjoyed this - you took a general feeling among many us, but personalised it in your own way.

It has very short lines but the flow was still very good.

Excellent piece.

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