This love, my hell - pipTalk Forums

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Digital_Hell
Member

since 2006-06-05

Posts 202
Amidst black roses

0 posted 2006-06-06 05:22 PM

As i scream and howl
in this lonely cell
i realise that my life, my love
is trully but my hell

drifting in the river of souls
naught can i do but admire my life's goals
they burned all that good and well
and resulted in me that fell

at the gates of hell i wait
and ponders my life's inevitable fate
as i stare at the hate, the storm
i see myself so bent and worn

and so at last my end has come
and the darkness has all but won
i cast a last glace up above
and see that cursed white dove

UseTheIllusion
Member

since 2006-02-06

Posts 223
In a state of limbo

1 posted 2006-06-06 05:59 PM

I felt this one deeply; I could relate to it.

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

2 posted 2006-06-07 01:42 PM

Hate is stupid. It doesn't ever do anything productive, but destructive to the hater and not always, but also the hated. Love is pretty cool though.

-GIS

balloons are made of rubber...
... and they float too...
as will I to Heaven once I die...

Digital_Hell
Member

since 2006-06-05

Posts 202
Amidst black roses

3 posted 2006-06-07 03:32 PM

id agree that hate is silly. but its one of the few things i have. but true as they say. hate often hurts the hatee more than the hated

Walter Poe
Senior Member

since 1999-10-13

Posts 787

4 posted 2006-06-10 06:24 AM

I disgree hate is not stupid hate allows us the mirror of love

what use is good without evil

Hate is also a survival tool

I hate only those who do me harm

To not hate those who do you harm is to risk making the same mistake twice and that is a fools choice.

That aside the poem was v. effective in imagery without being to wordy which is a crime i enjoy petrpetrating occasionaly. The only critique if you want to call it that is perhaps a quick read through before posting for spelling mistakes and maybe you'll find a way you may prefer to say something i don't normally do this but i wrote a poem that way once and to me it was one of my favourites. It was a little to distressing so actually had to be removed from the open pages so no-one but myself actually ever read it but it was a useful learning tool. wow this is possibly the longest non-poem reply i've ever given.

I went to the desert on a horse with no name, it felt good to get out of the rain.

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