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Dark Poetry #4
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A Cry From the Hopeless
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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A Cry From the Hopeless |
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Michael the 3rd Junior Member
since 2006-02-02
Posts 10Oregon, USA |
For all those "unpopular" kids who couldn't get their crush to feel the same way ^_^. "A Cry From the Hopeless" Who is this girl who walks by me? Who is this girl who makes me stumble in the hall? Why am I so afraid? Why do I give in? She stares at me with beautiful dark blue eyes, And all I want to do is hold her till the end. Can you not see me? Can you not hear me? I live just like anyone else, How dare you expell me from existance! I cry at the sound of your voice, What should I do oh King of kings? Give me the answer so I may rest once more.... [This message has been edited by Michael the 3rd (02-05-2006 11:52 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2006 Michael the 3rd - All Rights Reserved | |||
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deadkiss Junior Member
since 2006-02-11
Posts 31washington |
this could use some editing to flow better. it has a good theme, though i wouldn't necessarily call it dark poetry. perhaps use some more images and metaphores to strengthen it more. |
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Michael the 3rd Junior Member
since 2006-02-02
Posts 10Oregon, USA |
yeah, this really isn't one of my favorites. Basicly it's really just a pile of emotion, and I really couldn't find a place for it, might as well just have put it in open poetry. |
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