Dark Poetry #4 |
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ForeverPoetic Junior Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 28Streaming down a tranquil sea |
I awake in ths new place. To a supposedly new morning I look in the mirror And its the same old thing I hurry to make my bus To make my class To get working on my test Only to come home to the same things Living on my own I thought would be easier I thought it would make my life better I was wrong I realize Its only a matter of time Before my life becomes ruined once more But still I must go on days weeks months years I can only wish But its only been 24 hours And im lost once more God save me. |
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© Copyright 2006 James - All Rights Reserved | |||
ForeverPoetic Junior Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 28Streaming down a tranquil sea |
I guess no one likes my poetry No comments |
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SATURN Member
since 2004-05-04
Posts 78ok,us |
Nice write and very effective. p.s. You are never alone. ~Hali~ |
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desert-spike Member
since 2006-02-01
Posts 194TX/USA |
Oh the pains of finding out it's harder than they said it would be. I remember those. You've captured the heart of being overburdened in its most bare bones, unfrilled, unrefined state. Nicely done. Also I apologize for not getting to your poem sooner. I'm still getting the hang of this place. |
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ForeverPoetic Junior Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 28Streaming down a tranquil sea |
Thanks everyone for the critic and the wonderfull replys. Much appreciated. Stars, though unseen on dark nights. Are still there, just hidden away. Twinkling, winking at us, and laughing at our dismay |
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Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
Sorry sorry, been too busy to reply. This is. How do I put it? Awesome (No one likes your poetry? Phooey!). Very Groundhog cool, tiring though too. Hollow. Courts. Come on God, do I seem bulletproof? |
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