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Mad_Hatter
Member

since 2003-06-29

Posts 393
Canada

0 posted 2005-03-27 08:13 PM

I have placed
the whisper of the wind
into it's grave
Should I please
the tones of my unrest

It's the dreamer
who haunts me in the stall
But it's the reaper
Who brings me to his call
The path is long, stretched, and weathered
(the only one who attempted me)
The hollow where my eyes once slept
Haven't forgot you yet
And the screaming of the wind
It's turning in its tomb again
Gently now, come the winter aches
Softly now, comes familiar taste
Deeply now, firing atoms over me

When you come to in a plastic bag
With a rope still tied around your neck
I guess it's time I told you
That after all this time
I cannot ever make it right
(Take your breath, one last stance,
an attempt to repair distorted light)

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

1 posted 2005-03-27 10:28 PM

wow.
this is the style of writing I love.
very unique and expressive.

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member

since 2004-02-01

Posts 715
New Zealand

2 posted 2005-03-28 04:43 AM

Ooh. I liked! Gave me a creepy feeling at first, but that's just the chills of an awesome poem.
The ending rocked.

Hollow.
Courts.

Come on God, do I seem bulletproof?

majnu

Senior Member

since 2002-10-13

Posts 1088
SF Bay Area

3 posted 2005-03-29 12:02 PM

power that sneaks up on you; nice.

the part: firing atoms over me makes no sense at all. what are you talking about?

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

4 posted 2005-03-31 06:35 PM

Wow. This hit me so strongly. Awesome imagery! I love the whole feel of the poem.
This is going in my library.

If I could fall asleep tonight
you know I’d dream of you
and wake up wondering
why my heart is so cold
~WinterWren~

KuruShio
Member

since 2003-11-18

Posts 110

5 posted 2005-04-01 12:03 PM

I tend to visualize most things when they are written, this was quite well done.

hatter your work is quite frequently very well put together if you ever attempt to get some published i wish you luck

shatteredsilver
Member

since 2005-03-31

Posts 63
middle of nowhere

6 posted 2005-04-13 05:52 PM

This is absolutly wonderful. I can't even pick a favorite part, because the next part is even better.

Within the sound of silence...

sgreybe
Member

since 2000-04-28

Posts 209
London, UK

7 posted 2005-04-15 06:29 AM

Great piece Mad_Hatter! loved the imagery. Keep it up.

Sylvia

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