Dark Poetry #4 |
Synthesis |
littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
It can be disputed, that the dying breath of man is composed solely of flushed, angelic breeze. Not unlike a delicate touch, traversing each curve of hip and thigh, while lying, entwined beneath a cool summer’s morn’. It can be disputed, that such temperate breeze resembles the joy felt upon hearing an infant’s first wail. Or that of a newborn pup, greedily lapping your face for affection. It has been proven, that one’s last breath is nothing more than carbon dioxide and nutrients, dispelled. I have seen more death than life. I embody the bile rising from the city’s sewers. Vomited, from the cracked and bleeding mouths of our forefathers. The gutters ejaculate, stinging my skin, pricking, as needles. And no matter how hard I try, I cannot be scrubbed clean. I dispute, that death is anything pleasant. For the living. I have seen more death than life. And I braid its bony fingers, within my own. ---------------------------------------- In memory, Joseph Jacob Horvatits 03/11/05 |
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© Copyright 2005 Sue Eckam - All Rights Reserved | |||
mysticpoe Senior Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 883 |
It can be disputed, that the dying breath of man is composed solely of flushed, angelic breeze. lw, a beautiful door opener to a very destined write. Always did like your style. Chapters ahead of yourself. Thanks for the post, good to read you again. Very nice. wayne If nothing is something |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
! I've not read you in far too long! Seriously sue, this was such a pleasure to read, so real. It moved so freely, and felt as though you held back nothing. You're on fire! Keeping this too! |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"I dispute, that death is anything pleasant. For the living. I have seen more death than life. And I braid its bony fingers, within my own" such depth and layers in this...this is one that can be read so many ways... excellent! |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
You are guys are way too good to me, I had to post this one to get it out of me, thank you guys, you made me smile when I needed it most. |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
I loved it. It makes me kinda happy. Synthesis of Brokeness and a little puddle of puddy. Make some goo, and SPLAT, its you. I guess its the curse that seems to come from being creative. I loved it. -GIS John 12:25 He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal. |
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s1nfully_1nn0c3nt Senior Member
since 2003-10-26
Posts 1105Watertown, NY |
"I dispute, that death is anything pleasant. For the living. I have seen more death than life. And I braid its bony fingers, within my own" OMG I Love This... Laughter Is The Enemy Of Desire, But Desire Itself Is Painful, After You Get That Which You Desire, What's Next? |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I'm so happy you decided to post this. love this love you lady |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
OMG! This speaks to eons of existence! Awesome write! Billy 8) "If at first an idea is not absurd, there is no hope for it." |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Thank you Craig, I am so happy you liked this. Hey K . . . I know you know Love you too Thank you innocent, what a compliment! Hey Billy, wow, thank you so much. Thanks guys for reading, I truly appreciate it. |
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KuruShio Member
since 2003-11-18
Posts 110 |
Best i have read in months. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Thanks Kuru! That means a lot, this one meant a lot to me. |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
"I (too) have seen more death than life." This entire piece is pure poetry. I am always in awe of your talent. Billy 8) "If at first an idea is not absurd, there is no hope for it." |
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Mad_Hatter Member
since 2003-06-29
Posts 393Canada |
This piece was truly touching, on a very deep level. Something about it just hit home with me, with the imagery and vocabulary you chose, it was incredible. |
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Ringo
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684Saluting with misty eyes |
If there is such a thing as reincarnation, I want to come back as one of your poems. This is a world-class tribute, and it shows the love you had for him. In the wooden chair |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
you are beautiful within this shroud of darkness and light...I'm sorry I missed this...it brings me to tears... If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
what is not to be disputed...is the strength of your heartbeat death is something everyone says is part of living...but it's the part I've decided to to accept OK, so I may not have a choice in the END but I have seen too many die to want to join the crowd Susie, does this make any sense, or did I just swallow too many glasses of whine today? |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
yes, it does and you nailed it, Kacy Thank you. |
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KuruShio Member
since 2003-11-18
Posts 110 |
I almost never reply to anything, not from disrespect, but from a genuine lack of anything to say other than ooh I like this. Rather than bore you with my useless drivel allow me to say that this piece makes me feel humble, my jaw seldom drops to words on page but it did for this. Every time I reread this it brings up emotions, I've had friends stabbed to death, I have watched one of the women I love drink herself into oblivion, I have held the hands of the dying and the sick and been to the edge myself. This Is GOLD, This is Life when all we know is death. Neither night nor day can give me purchase only purged dust on earth can avenge the worthless. KuruShio (DeadlyBob) |
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