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silhouetted
Senior Member

since 2004-01-30

Posts 537
New Zealand

0 posted 2005-02-08 11:55 PM

holding my arms
out to you
grab me
don't let me fall
like i have
so many other times
falling to the ground
worthless
at your feet
trembling
bottom lip quivering
watching you
admiring you
perfection.
thats all you are
all you ever were
and all i'll ever want
all i'll ever need
and all i'll never have
walk away
leave me here
wash your hands clean
of me and everything i am
its alright
i can pick myself up

soon

can you find me space inside your bleeding heart?

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member

since 2004-02-01

Posts 715
New Zealand

1 posted 2005-02-09 01:10 AM

Your fall from grace
So painful when you hit the ground
You write
Beautifully sad
But you write
I want to see you
Jeez you write!

Hollow.
Courtney.

And the legacy runs from needles to guns
And no one's immune to the pain
From Marilyn to River Phoenix
From Elvis to Kurt Cobain

silhouetted
Senior Member

since 2004-01-30

Posts 537
New Zealand

2 posted 2005-02-09 03:44 AM

fully did not understand that. maybe its just me today, or maybe i've lost my touch in understanding the most complicated, or simple things. blergh

can you find me space inside your bleeding heart?

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member

since 2004-02-01

Posts 715
New Zealand

3 posted 2005-02-10 01:30 AM

hahahaha, soz. Basically I tried to say, it was soooooooooo good, yay your writing, omg you write so well, i want to see you, and I know it hurts.

Ok?????????

Always here to do the critical analysis.
I-AM-HERE-TO-EX-PLAIN.

Lol.
Courts.

And the legacy runs from needles to guns
And no one's immune to the pain
From Marilyn to River Phoenix
From Elvis to Kurt Cobain

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

4 posted 2005-02-11 12:11 PM

I have to say its pretty cool. I like this one.

-GIS

Corruption is caused by holes in obedience to God.

tecoyah
Member

since 2003-11-16

Posts 83
NY

5 posted 2005-02-12 08:54 AM

There is nothing like the inspiration, Loss can give us. All that is required is the strength to accept it.

The poem tells a full story of such loss, and the determination to become more because of it.
The last word "soon" was an excellent use of language, to set an open end to your work.

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