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Dark Poetry #4
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Over Hung
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Over Hung |
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River Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627my own little world |
The sound of pulsating agony the stains of mind grappling hate fear the stench it's over and left with a mess of pain. tangled twisted ball of wire, can you scratch your way, bleed your way to comfort? spell these letters once more superficial drama and you've got a well blended cold brew of inebriation absent of a previous bottle. not the side effect of usual stupidity, but a mind over hung on the past, a future absent of present. singled out one by one, you all nod your heads, close your eyes, and wish that upon opening you do not see the world for what it really is - drunk with ignorance. "Stained by the sun, I can see colors...colors of mercy washing over me." - 3 Minutes From Home |
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| © Copyright 2005 Bonnie Sue Bixler - All Rights Reserved | |||
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
I'm sorta distracted right now, but what I got I liked. It sounded cool. And yeah, I wish people would read the envelope before judgement too, perhaps even open their eyes. -GIS Corruption is caused by holes in obedience to God. |
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
not the side effect of usual stupidity, but a mind over hung on the past, a future absent of present. wow! I love that part. so true. |
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News_From_Nowhere Member
since 2002-06-14
Posts 173CU, NY |
If you had left it at "The sound of pulsating agony drunk with ignorance" This poem would have been my epitath. This was great. Truly great. Rider "So give life to your dreams, for there lies your survival, and cast your heart beyond those faded scenes, and I'll bring you through the storm" |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
The last two lines and my other responce make it somewhat ironic. You can almost see it slurring. And definitely over hung. I didn't read all of my last responce but if I didn't say it before this was definitely pretty cool and amusing. -GIS Corruption is caused by holes in obedience to God. |
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silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand |
i liked that a lot. brutally real, and honest... ALSO... i read one of your replies to my poems, and your signature was from one of my FAV ever songs... everything from lifehouse. you rock my world! that song is so brilliant, and that was my fav line from the song too. AWESOME! you're the only one keeping me alive |
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tecoyah Member
since 2003-11-16
Posts 83NY |
This is the Kicker: singled out one by one, you all nod your heads, close your eyes, and wish that upon opening you do not see the world for what it really is - drunk with ignorance. In this ending you manage to set the message for all that came before....I was not expecting it, and therefore very much enjoyed it. Well Done |
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