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Dark Poetry #4
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a girl died today
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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a girl died today |
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darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
a girl died today she left without looking back dont expect to see her long hair or her bright smile or her deep thoughtful eyes or her thin body she was so lonely but surrounded by people she was so messed up but had all the help she needed she was wonderful and loved but looked right through it all she cared about was the the three years of hell she went through and the thought of more to come "not worth the risk" she wrote "and im not needed here" But you are needed! they scream through bitter tears I can't do it without you they yell yelling and screaming and sobbing on their knees but she doesn't notice them she notices the people at the back of the church all those who hassled her who looked down on her who laughed and made those years hell for her the looks of regret and nervousness wringing their hands and straightening their skirts she chuckles to herself satisfied and i want to be that girl so bad i want to be the one who died today nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Sophie A Ryan - All Rights Reserved | |||
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silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand |
wow. OH MY GOD . FLUCK . that, was..... omg... that was.... sophie, amazing. OMG really good way of putting the last week into words... you did it so well. Everything about that poem, was so real, so true to what is most probably happening. if there is an after life, that is exactly what she would be seeing right now. LOVED IT TOO MUCH LOR put your frustrations into four letter words - incubus |
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vampiana Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296Nothing and Nowhere |
holy SHEET girl! that made me cry so bad...it was so full of pain and emotion..and oh god..the tears are streaming down my face. i feel identical to that aye. just look ahead..things will get better..they must get better...don't ever succumb to the cowardess that "the girl who died today" succumbed to. lots of love, Kirsty. that was honestly..just such a brilliant poem..you took the words out my mouth and wrote them.. i can't get over this poem..so brilliant. IM SAVING THIS "I cannot stand the way you tease, I love you though you hurt me so"-Marilyn Manson |
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darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
thanx you two. i always appreciate ur replies. this one kinda hurt to wrote.... so weird this is me talking. love always nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world. |
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aussie teen Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396Australia |
this reminds me soooo much of when hannah died..... you have written the feelings down so well that i was going thru... well done.... i cant believe that you have no confidence in this one... uit is beautifully written and i love it... always here for ya Ruth live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever...... |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
omg...i'm speechless...awesome write!!! i'm here for you too.  ~Alli~ *:.AIM = Alli4000.:* My Journal Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened... |
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eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys |
good write it was powerful, a little melodrmatic but powerful, nicley done Awake through motion with curiosity to curtain your first move |
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Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
I'm sorry, I haven't replied yet. But I was in such a state of shock I was speechless, and every reply I started sounded so juvenile and useless. Sigh. Even this is useless, but I'm doing it because, I am. There. You're beautiful. Did that boost your self-esteem? I hope so. Luv, Hollow. Courts. I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World. |
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Purity Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526Once Upon, USA |
"Daybreak, I feel so alone; Why don't you come to stay? I let her walk away, I should have said don't go, I know I should have found another way... Now I don't know what to do... So, Daybreak, please... Break through..." If you were that girl, darkness, they'd be someone...and even if it were but one someone, who'd be sadly singing these lines as they cried. And yet, I feel... Such a cause for pause, this poem so grand. Wings bruised from turning away in such confined space...Not broken...still healable...still feathered with life, somewhere |
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EveGnosis Member
since 2002-02-21
Posts 300New York, USA |
still hearing those screams through bitter tears... you are amazing. i just did this photo shoot where the photographer wanted to capture actors "in character"... crying. i used this poem as my inspiration, and she says she got a phenominal shot. sad, huh? love, always no matter what i'll always need a friend, one i can defend. |
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News_From_Nowhere Member
since 2002-06-14
Posts 173CU, NY |
But if she can cry for those back of the church folks, she has learned a lesson worth saving her life. Sometimes the stained glass windows are too pious to see through. Yet, she saw, didn't she? I love you, darkness. I love your poetic vision. I expect in your next write a plot twist, where "the girl" out-lived them all! "So give life to your dreams, for there lies your survival, and cast your heart beyond those faded scenes, and I'll bring you through the storm" |
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darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
thank you all so so so so very much. getting these replies, i dunno, just fully made me look at the situation differently. EveGnosis: I'm glad it helped you with the photo shoot, at least this poem came to some good right? Courts: I'm still just glad you read them!!! Purity: thak you, your reply was beautiful as always NFN:thank you so much. I really dont deserve those compliments. Ruth: I'm glad you can relate to me, makes me feel less alone and thank you for what you said Alli: Thank you for replying and bothering to read. eor: I can see where you're coming from, and thank you for reading once again a huge thank you, I feel so damn priveliged to be amongst all of you and its a great feeling to have people bothering to read and comment on your poems. love and empathy always darkness. Sophie nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world. |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
I should have read this earlier. Its good. Dark. Nice write. -GIS Doing the same thing a million times in a row will definitely affect your head. Read and pratice and read and pratice and read and prati........ead a |
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