Ease - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

0 posted 2004-10-17 11:06 PM

I'm here
Pinched between water and sky
Why is this tree here
How deep is the ground below me
And why do my feet stand right here

Why couldn't I have died
Can I die
Am I immortal
Have I ever been mortal

Their sharp fingers poke holes in me
I bleed like a fountain when I stand up
They take me to places I didn't realize
Still right here

What is here?
I open my eyes and see
A picture of this world around me
Painted perfectly in depth percise and exact

The flat surface of the earth and the decorations
On which I trip and bust my flesh
My trip lands in my skin
I'm the opposite of prosperous

I don't complain
Just observe
This is me
I listen, thank you
Fear resting my head

I guess being at that point where you're on the tip
Of a needle poking through the world
Your body becomes the flame
It dances and twitches violently beyond control
Abrasive in pain I love it here
Til you just don't care anymore
You're finally happy
And you don't feel guilty for believing

He has made everything beautiful in its own time. -Ecclesiastes 3:11

darkness_witch
Senior Member

since 2003-12-03

Posts 516
Underneath

1 posted 2004-10-18 03:13 AM

What is here?
I open my eyes and see
A picture of this world around me
Painted perfectly in depth percise and exact
The flat surface of the earth and the decorations
On which I trip and bust my flesh
My trip lands in my skin
I'm the opposite of prosperous

oh wow im in awe

this is amazing wow trully artistic and beautiful

cant believe no-ones replied. THIS DESERVES SOME RECOGNITION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh wow im speechless.

you definitly should be proud of this!!!!

love and empathy
darkness

nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world.

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

2 posted 2004-10-18 01:41 PM

"Abrasive in pain I love it here"
I love this line.
and the entire ending.

Purity
Senior Member

since 2001-11-20

Posts 526
Once Upon, USA

3 posted 2004-10-18 02:04 PM

Incredibly poignant, GIS! I feel there with you... Love your work, always!

Wings bruised from turning away in such confined space...Not broken...still healable...still feathered with life, somewhere

River
Senior Member

since 2003-09-16

Posts 627
my own little world

4 posted 2004-10-18 05:50 PM

Why couldn't I have died
Can I die
Am I immortal
Have I ever been mortal

answer to the first. because I won't let you, second, I won't let you. third, heck yeah, fourth yep, but not anymore!

anyways, couldn't resist, sorry, but yeah, the way you word this makes me want my "body to become the flame" ... anyways, cool dude. lata...

- River

"Stained by the sun, I can see colors...colors of mercy washing over me." - 3 Minutes From Home

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

5 posted 2004-10-18 07:25 PM

First of all, I adore these lines:

I guess being at that point where you're on the tip
Of a needle poking through the world
Your body becomes the flame
It dances and twitches violently beyond control

and you know, I was just pondering the feeling of numb, which I felt here and then you end it with complete belief in yourself. Nice job, Craig. Your writing is seriously taking on a mind of its own.

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

6 posted 2004-10-18 07:52 PM

very interesting greeny, im going to have to give this a more thourogh read through, but i like the image you are creating, give you more complete thoughts later...

Awake through motion with curiosity to curtain your first move
Over arms length they'll break protocol
Jealous envy for the youngest one

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member

since 2004-02-01

Posts 715
New Zealand

7 posted 2004-10-19 12:45 PM

I didn't reply yesterday because I couldn't think of how to reply.....I love the way you write out your thoughts, it's truly amazing. Sigh, so inspirational.

Hollow.
Courts.

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World.

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

8 posted 2004-10-19 01:14 AM

I love all you.

Thank you darkness.  I'm working on theory on guitar, and when I feel I have enough to write a song I'll probably come back to this one.

Thank you Lexy.

As always Purity.  And its truly amazing about that as always thing.  Talk about some distance.  lol.

Thats why you will be paying me a visit sometime if I don't go there first River.

Littlewing, thats what its like.  You have no control over circumstance, and when bad things keep happening sometimes it feels like its tearing you apart.  So I say let it.  It will pass, and I'll gather the pieces when it stops.

I'll be looking forward to it eor.

Thank you Courtney.  I appreciate that.

He has made everything beautiful in its own time. -Ecclesiastes 3:11

EveGnosis
Member

since 2002-02-21

Posts 300
New York, USA

9 posted 2004-10-20 12:54 PM

"i bleed like a fountain when i stand up."
"still right here"
"what is here?"

your poetry is getting more complex, green, and more brilliant in its complexity.
awestruck with this one. i'm here too. "what is here?" magnanimous writing.

i'll always need a friend, one i can defend.

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

10 posted 2004-10-20 01:14 AM

Bleed like a fountain, but thats ok, just sign here. lol. Thank you eve, and I'm willing to bet the more I realize about the world, myself, and others it will probably continue to get more and more of its own.

-GIS

He has made everything beautiful in its own time. -Ecclesiastes 3:11

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.