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Dark Poetry #4
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all hallows me? (dark)
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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all hallows me? (dark) |
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EveGnosis Member
since 2002-02-21
Posts 300New York, USA 
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why is it i have to fumble with this key every night? must be the same course's par as the fact i'm alone again. another all hallows eve, and i'm homing it early. finally, i can cross that lonely threshold once more. i shut the door. my apartment is dark, but then again, so am i. that's how i like it. flip the switch, solitary bulb flickers "hello again, fool" setting my keys on the table, i notice a white feather that's reason for being there is unclear. what the crap was that noise? never is there a noise coming from my bedroom, except that of a single male's nightmares of sleep. i slowly pace myself there to surprise or be surprised. god, if there is something there, my damn heartbeat's giving me away. what the hell... i rush in screaming! nothing is there but the friends i call furniture. but wait... now the thud is coming from wence i just came! how does one tip-toe across hardwood? returning to my living room of the dead white as a ghost, and trying as silent as one, the only thing i notice is the feather is now gone. instead and in its place is a drop of blood. but then there's that thud... i turn to the window after it breathed on me, and there was my nightmare. just before the white owl dropped away from my eyes, i noticed the crimson tears dropping from its. dark is the night of all hallows me when the white owl's eyes bleed, i say to myself. time to turn in, and turn out the lights... but ya know, as i turned to do so, i had to see on that table a feather of a blacker kind. i'll always need a friend, one i can defend. |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
This is a pretty freakin sweet poem. Its like seeing things that vanish after running across the yard in front of a light at night while your on the phone and startling the sterness out of you. A black figure with a human form that semi-jogs and doesn't make a sound as it goes. Pretty freakin creepy. I can even feel this one. -GIS He has made everything beautiful in its own time. -Ecclesiastes 3:11 |
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Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
My jaw-dropped, I like this one. Different from the other ones I've read from you but....omg reminds me of secret window a bit. Only some parts though. Sigh, I love the way you weave your words  Hollow. Courts. I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
I like the introduction of the owl, in Native American culture, it is believed that the sight of an owl signifies the death of someone. This was a rollercoaster, one amazing short story, m'friend. |
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EveGnosis Member
since 2002-02-21
Posts 300New York, USA |
thanks, all! hollow, it is different, but it was my way of responding to littlewing's post about the dark halloween challenge, even though it's on a seperate forum, i chose to post here with my friends... thank you, littlewing. you are an inspiration. and green, you made me smile with your response. thanks! i'll always need a friend, one i can defend. |
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Purity Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526Once Upon, USA |
UUUHHHH....O' My Gosh... Where did this one come from, Eve? I mean, I agree with everyone else here, and the wording was sheer perfection, but this was indeed against typicality for you! What an amazing psychological...uh, yes, what littlewing said, rollercoaster. Had me from beginning to end! GREAT DARK POEM! Wings bruised from turning away in such confined space...Not broken...still healable...still feathered with life, somewhere |
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News_From_Nowhere Member
since 2002-06-14
Posts 173CU, NY |
Hats off to you, Eve! >(Actually, off and me chewing on the brim) Being Native American, the white owl scared the blood right out of me! And you used it so very well! A new hero for me I extremely love this poem! "dark is the night of all hallows me when the white owl's eyes bleed, i say to myself." Yes!!! "So give life to your dreams, for there lies your survival, and cast your heart beyond those faded scenes, and I'll bring you through the storm |
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Purity Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526Once Upon, USA |
I hope deVine has eyed this one! Wings bruised from turning away in such confined space...Not broken...still healable...still feathered with life, somewhere |
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Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
I'm glad you posted it here, I don't often venture past this forum and it was sooo good. When I read littlewing's poem I figured out the challenge thing, lol. Yay! clap for you Eve! Hollow. Courts. I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World. |
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vampiana Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296Nothing and Nowhere |
wow..simply breath taking..mmm..the darkness engulfed me..i loved it...especially the bit about the crimson tears dripping from the owl's eyes. that was just awesome... "I cannot stand the way you tease, I love you though you hurt me so"-Marilyn Manson |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
Woah...this poem is freakin awesome! I honestly don't know what to say other than I enoyed this poem is much!  ~Alli~ *:.AIM = Alli4000.:* |
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News_From_Nowhere Member
since 2002-06-14
Posts 173CU, NY |
That damned bleeding owl! Has been "innering" my dreams, Eve! Shame on you!!!! I had to let you know, This is still my favorite. Rider "So give life to your dreams, for there lies your survival, and cast your heart beyond those faded scenes, and I'll bring you through the storm |
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Purity Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526Once Upon, USA |
Just had to see this one again...It's All Hallow's Eve!!! Plus, I just love it that much! Wings bruised from turning away in such confined space...Not broken...still healable...still feathered with life, somewhere |
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s1nfully_1nn0c3nt Senior Member
since 2003-10-26
Posts 1105Watertown, NY |
WOW... Happiness Runs From Me, For I Am It's Enemy, Anyone Who Has It, Is Someone I Envy... |
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EveGnosis Member
since 2002-02-21
Posts 300New York, USA |
i feel so unworthy. thank you all for your embrace. i'm actually learning from you all, for you are much better poets than i. but i do love the praise. i'll always need a friend, one i can defend. |
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Purity Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526Once Upon, USA |
On the 'eve of such a frightful night, I thought this perfection deserved second sight. Of all you've blessed us with herein, This still is without question my favorite...my friend! Boo! Wings bruised from turning away in such confined space...Not broken...still healable...still feathered with life, somewhere |
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EveGnosis Member
since 2002-02-21
Posts 300New York, USA |
whoa... and wow. i forgot this. thanks, purity. a year ago. of all the things we try to find... it's only love we keep. |
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
a very deep and dark poem I enjoyed it very much. The story told holds alot of truth in my own life and i understand it very well. I'll be looking for more of your work. I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson- |
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darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
hey Eve yeah really liked this one, out of ya comfort zone yea? and i also loved the way u added in the white owl. very impressive!!!!!!!!!!!!! keep it up nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world. |
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