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Dark Poetry #4
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Where no gods forgive us
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Where no gods forgive us |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
these days are surreal time is slowed like morphine dreams feelings numbed actions random reactions today I shot a kid holding a gun no older than my little brother he died with his eyes in mine they held no fear of death yet bled me out across the scene beyond the walls behind the veil he rests among the multitudes where no gods forgive us |
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| © Copyright 2004 coyote - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"feelings numbed actions random reactions today I shot a kid holding a gun no older than my little brother" Your title brought me here, and your poem kept me here. All of this is good, but it's your words I quoted that hit me the hardest as I believe that violence has become some surreal distancing of emotion. Here in New Orleans, a black man was shot dead in the streets. (I believe we average two a night) and he wasn't discovered until sun up. They found him because the neighborhood kids were pointing and laughing at him... Your poem hits home, like a hollow point bullet. Very well done and a sad but true observation of our desensitization. Great work coyote--makes people think. now, if we could only get some to care, yes? thanks for this one |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
Just like a cowboy. It might be mean but it makes me feel better to read something like this. If all else fails, handle it. -GIS He has made everything beautiful in its own time. -Ecclesiastes 3:11 |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
Thanks, Blaze. I here ya, babe. The scene is from any street war anywhere.....Viet-Iraq...maybe? Thanks, GIS. Just an old man remembering the "crimes against humanity" he has committed, that's all. CB 8) |
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News_From_Nowhere Member
since 2002-06-14
Posts 173CU, NY |
Testimony of the ever imbedded! Thank you for sharing a moment That begs us pause! The turmoil of heroism... And a write worthy of generations Needing to memorize. "So give life to your dreams, for there lies your survival, and cast your heart beyond those faded scenes, and I'll bring you through the storm |
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Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
Tragic and sad coyote, nice write though. Bought me there. Hollow. Courts. I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World. |
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darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
tragic painful great write heard you loud n clear love and emapthy darkness nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"The scene is from any street war anywhere.....Viet-Iraq...maybe?" The scene is "anywhere, U.S.A." My nephew joined the military during a time of war because? He'd been attacked for minimum wage. And he was dumb enough to fight back. "Rite-Aid" was gonna charge him, out of his pay, for the liquor destroyed when he punched someone back. "give them what, they take the money" and he told them he wasn't raised that way. He was fired. He joined the Marines. We are hugging him hard as he came home from Afghanistan, and when he leaves? Iraq. not this family not and as we pray "not this family" we pray "peace and let my brother sleep..." I WANT it so bad. peace... He is going to Iraq. And I don't wanna see him on the internet. |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
Thanks for reading and replying, everyone. My oldest son is a Marine, his little brother was a sailor. Something I tell every veteran I meet: "Welcome Home. Thank You for your service." Those of my generation did not get even that. coyote |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
I feel as if there is so much more to this. *shaking head* I agree with Anywhere, USA . . . a kid was stabbed to death across from my mother's house, in a neighborhood where things like that just don't happen. Right around the corner from me. Not anymore. Semper Fi . . . my step-dad was a Marine. |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
I tried to go to the Marines. I was enlisted for 6 months. I had one month to go before I shipped out for bootcamp and they sent me a little letter which I've since burned, telling me that I couldn't go because when I was 15 we had a problem in the family and it got violent. Then I tried the Army and the Navy and neither of them wanted me. So now if the draft comes out or they send me post cards trying to get me to enlist, they can eat it. I still suport them but at the same time screw'em. -GIS He has made everything beautiful in its own time. -Ecclesiastes 3:11 |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
Thanks, littlewing. I've always felt an individual should get out of my poetry whatever he/she finds in each poem, which may or may not be in the same vein as it was written. I'm also pleased to hear that it makes people think, and glad you and Blaze found something here beyond the face value of the words and images. After all, the word imagination contains the word image, and I believe that good poetry should always have its roots firmly planted there. coyote 8) |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
Thank You, GIS. I'm sorry to hear you had a bad experience with enlistments, but at least you can get on with your life. Sometimes the bad experiences come later, out of just being there, and being a part of something too big and crazy to control. Like you, I'll always support the troops, for the same reasons, though I know in my heart that war is truly wrong. coyote 8) |
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