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Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member

since 2004-02-01

Posts 715
New Zealand

0 posted 2004-10-04 01:48 AM

Why do I bother?
To speak my insecurities
To cry out in pain my pain
I thought they were listeners,
Nay, only watchers,
Scrutinizing the frame around the picture.
Not perfect, far from,
Craving little,
But a glance, a smile,
Understanding.
Grazing the empty sky,
For a spotlight star or two,
A moment. A happier photo. To frame and place on the mantle.
Wall of selfish fame.
See, I thought I could be
Contented,
With what I have,
Only to find,
It’s not enough.
When decrepit others,
Would be over the moon, in that empty sky,
While I lay below,
Laughed at,
Sweeping up stardust.
Maybe now. They will close their crystallized eyes.
And listen.

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World.

silhouetted
Senior Member

since 2004-01-30

Posts 537
New Zealand

1 posted 2004-10-04 02:04 AM

i really enjoyed this one

i loved the ending
finalised a great poem

ciao - poem writing time!

LOR

put your frustrations into four letter words - incubus

darkness_witch
Senior Member

since 2003-12-03

Posts 516
Underneath

2 posted 2004-10-04 03:49 AM

ouch. this one hurt. this is so flipping(wish i could swear cause then youd feel it) sad

really good poem tho, and i agree with laura on the ending thing.

love and empathy
darkness

nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world.

Purity
Senior Member

since 2001-11-20

Posts 526
Once Upon, USA

3 posted 2004-10-04 08:58 AM

Loved it, Hollow! I felt this one, also. Simply loved the imagery!

Wings bruised from turning away in such confined space...Not broken...still healable...still feathered with life, somewhere

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

4 posted 2004-10-04 08:05 PM

in due time, we all find our place. This reminded me of going over so many frames, another life and time . . .

peaceful_dreamer
Member

since 2003-04-25

Posts 159
SoMeWhErE oVeR tHe RaInBoW

5 posted 2004-10-05 01:41 AM

Wow. This is really good. I loved the end. You have such a wonderful talent!
-Peaceful

"I'm just me, trapped in a body."

-peaceful_dreamer

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member

since 2004-02-01

Posts 715
New Zealand

6 posted 2004-10-05 01:58 AM

Thank you guys so much for replying.

Hollow.
Courtney.

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World.

vampiana
Member

since 2004-09-08

Posts 296
Nothing and Nowhere

7 posted 2004-10-05 05:03 AM

this was a pretty cool poem, but then..yours ALWAYS are! *cheers*
loved the end too..
Kirst.

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