Playing in the Snow When I Was Eight

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littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

0 posted 2004-10-02 04:59 PM

Split
like snowflakes drifting,
I stumble.
As I try to carry this body,
myself
which has grown so heavy,

so heavy . . . already.

I feel as if I just want to lie down
in the warmth of Her cocoon.
Just for a spell
please,
to rest.

It is so warm here
in Her arms.
So easy to close my eyes,
only for a moment
or two.

I have a lifetime yet.

Before I am called to supper . . .

Purity
Senior Member

since 2001-11-20

Posts 526
Once Upon, USA

1 posted 2004-10-02 11:20 PM

YES~!
Beautiful!
And I even understand the supper part. God, it gets in my way sometimes...Loved this, lw!

Wings bruised from turning away in such confined space...Not broken...still healable...still feathered with life, somewhere

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member

since 2004-02-01

Posts 715
New Zealand

2 posted 2004-10-02 11:56 PM

Lovely littlewing, so beautiful. I like how there is always a line in italics, it adds.....something.

Hollow.

Nice signature Purity.

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World.

News_From_Nowhere
Member

since 2002-06-14

Posts 173
CU, NY

3 posted 2004-10-03 12:34 PM

There is so much being said here
Yet done such that it could easily
be hidden behind that split snowflake.
You have a wonderful way with words
& I enjoyed this very, very much.

"So give life to your dreams, for there lies your survival, and cast your heart beyond those faded scenes, and I'll bring you through the storm

EveGnosis
Member

since 2002-02-21

Posts 300
New York, USA

4 posted 2004-10-03 02:03 AM

"i have a lifetime yet"
i wandered...
do i have a lifetime yet to do or see?
do i have a lifetime, yet...
made me think, and like hollow_emptiness, i love how you use itallics to deviate from form.

i'll always need a friend, one i can defend.

coyote
Senior Member

since 2001-03-17

Posts 1077

5 posted 2004-10-03 11:40 AM

I loved this piece!

It could easily be applied at 80 as well as 8.

coyote 8)

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

6 posted 2004-10-04 07:48 PM

Thank you everyone for always reading.

Nowhere? You nailed it . . .

*smile*

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

7 posted 2004-10-08 05:54 PM

"As I try to carry this body,
myself
which has grown so heavy,

so heavy . . . already."

i loved this part, i loved this whole poem, adding this one for sure

Awake through motion with curiosity to curtain your first move
Over arms length they'll break protocol
Jealous envy for the youngest one

mysticpoe
Senior Member

since 2003-02-28

Posts 883

8 posted 2004-10-09 10:12 AM

At times, the only real vacation spot in the World, is the past. Good memories, the one's worth more than conscious desires themselves. Like little angel's of love, undefeatable, indestructable and with you forever. Nice pen lw.

wayne

If nothing is something
then everything is
our thoughts and feelings
and all that exists.

News_From_Nowhere
Member

since 2002-06-14

Posts 173
CU, NY

9 posted 2004-10-09 10:59 PM

This is like a fine Reisling...
It gets better with age!
(Finding myself wanting to see the
snowflake splits again tonight)
Littlewing, I love you for this!

"So give life to your dreams, for there lies your survival, and cast your heart beyond those faded scenes, and I'll bring you through the storm

Brian James
Member

since 2005-06-26

Posts 147
Winnipeg

10 posted 2007-05-30 06:27 PM

Suzie, you've written some really amazing poetry while I was away.  Not to say you weren't always good, but this is just way better than the stuff I remember from you, much more mature.  You've really developed a great writing style.

I am in love with the title of this poem, which is the reason I chose to read it in the first place, and I wasn't disappointed!  The way you make the child seem so spiritual and weighted down by her own body, and dwelling in immortality (a lifetime before supper), really blows me away.

This is gorgeous poetry.

"To me, the thing that art does for life is to clean it, to strip it to form."
~Robert Frost

[This message has been edited by Brian James (05-30-2007 09:15 PM).]

dwgpoet
Member

since 2007-03-05

Posts 122
FL, USA

11 posted 2007-06-01 08:31 PM

You are so eloquent,

I often flee from violent or grossly descriptive dark poetry.

You are so eloquent,
that I have no fear of rest.

reminds me that they say that we are,
"born a hound (part 2)"

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