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Open Poetry #30
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No Other Water
| Open Poetry #30 |
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No Other Water |
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Greeneyes  
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind 
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The dark skies the winter storms seasons end and hide between velvet robes of darkness in a shadow of his whispering voice touch movement stillness how many stars have fallen since the "edge of air" where earth will round and skies pour you can not face midnights with time itself -- I do not feel the cold wind, nor fear the storm I wait. for how I feel touching you when I am out of touch left here, glancing round, above, beneath the oceans scene a temple of times rebirth me in one breath under fragile motion -- look how this changes me powerful between the void captive of wood the source of echoes they know no other waters in blue light he touched my face for a minute I, was lost laying again quiet in wordless thought falling snow still touches me -- softly remembering I belong to you for the last dance ~~**~~ {Greatly inspired & Muse Dedicated} /pip/Forum82/HTML/003358.html I had a dream last night you came to me on silver wings of light I flew away with you in painted sky Was it real Is it what you see,touch or feel [This message has been edited by Greeneyes (11-23-2003 10:31 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Snow
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170desert flower looking for rain |
this is stunning writing... for a minute I, was lost you make it easy for your reader to feel lost... indeed... well done. snow "...why does my skeleton pursue me |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
"for a minute I, was lost laying again quiet in wordless thought still touched by falling snow softly remembering I belong to you for the last dance" Everything you write Lauren..so breathtaking! Hugs~ |
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Eloise Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096Wyoming |
A wonderfully penned piece. I enjoyed the read very much. |
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James_A_Fraser Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972Out Making Anticlines |
The way you alternate voices -- back and forth, cross and recross like a loom -- and what a cloth you weave! |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
simply beautiful and sadly...on the bottom.. to the top  I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I love it when you get inspired |
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ambrish Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 257India |
lovely |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Lauren, this is breathtakingly beautiful!! Hugs to you, sweet Lady  Ethel |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
lady, you always write with such depth and with so much heart, how can one not be moved by your poetry? as usual... I'm not finding the words to say what I want to..so I'll just say well done... very well done |
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Jason Lyle Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438With my darkling |
Beautiful words, Lauren. Jason |
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Kazm Member
since 2003-11-13
Posts 99 |
Maybe you are the best in PIP. I feel like I can reach out and touch your images. I haven't read from everybody but I think you are the best so far. Kaz |
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Robert Frazier Senior Member
since 2003-02-06
Posts 1014 |
beautiful! R |
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Opeth Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543The Ravines |
I read this a few times and after reading it, I felt like I just trudged through some icy snow encrusted field in order to dive into the ocean, in search of... Simply put, wow. "If this grand panorama before me is what you call God...then God is not dead." |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
between velvet robes of darkness in a shadow of his whispering voice touch movement stillness how many stars have fallen since the "edge of air" where earth will round and skies pour you can not face midnights with time itself -- I do not feel the cold wind, nor fear the storm I wait. for how I feel touching you when I am out of touch left here, glancing round, above, beneath the oceans scene a temple of times rebirth me in one breath under fragile motion -- look how this changes me powerful between the void captive of wood the source of echoes they know no other waters in blue light he touched my face for a minute I, was lost laying again quiet in wordless thought falling snow still touches me -- softly remembering I belong to you ====================================== *sigh* I know this moment of inspire...I know how it feels to touch the words...stars are within reach for a moment in time.... and I know how amazing it feels to find the release...and dance that dance.... You are a ballerina ... graceful swan... gifted poetess.   |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
lauren, few people's words touch me quite like yours do, it goes beyond just a remarkable talent to write--you touch so deeply upon emotion... I can't quite put it into words. You just simply take words and weave them into more...much more. I loved every line of this, but the following especially touched me "you can not face midnights with time itself -- I do not feel the cold wind, nor fear the storm" This is amazing as are you Many hugs dear. Take care, Amy "love is like a butterfly-- |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
whoah...this was indeed a stunning write...creative artist and very professional...I mean it Lady, this was awesome. Very much enjoyed |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Lady Lauren, I now know how it feels to be a snowflake softly cascading down from gray skies... Linda |
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titch k Member
since 2003-11-25
Posts 123 |
hi greeneyes oh i sooooooooo enjoyed this verse....SMILE every stanza line I could re quote as beautiful...as each were a journey warm love Titch |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Is the "last dance" too late to learn? If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Lauren, both poems are stunning writes... Yes, you are most certainly inspired..and your pen reflects clearly that inspiration. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
wish i could take more time to write on this... i've been reading here and there, when i get the time and inclination, but this one prompted me to at the least drop an appreciative note. quote:...is beautiful. you might consider rearranging to fit this in a little sooner, as it seriously develops the tone. hugs n' stuff. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(smiles) Yay! Awwwwwwwww, this is sooooooooo beautiful, sweet friend, God Bless You, and may the snowflakes always glide down upon you and see the crystals twinkling with so any possibilities and iridescent dreams! (kiss on cheek) I love this, sweet friend, you are special to us all, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lauren, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
"I wait. for how I feel touching you when I am out of touch left here, glancing round, above, beneath the oceans scene a temple of times rebirth me in one breath under fragile motion -- look how this changes me" Hi Lauren...I am rarely able to respond to your poetry as I would like, so more often than not, I just read quietly. Your talent is both inspiring and intimidating...lol. And these lines are among the best I've read, anywhere. Much appreciated.  |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
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Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri |
How beautiful...it is hard to describe the feeling that overcame me with the reading of your final line. I had to sit silently for a few moments before I could reply...perhaps to let you words sink through me. Exquisite writing. Patricia |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Greeneyes In a manner of speaking an epopee. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
This has such a wonderful flow throughout, Lauren ... you've captured soft sentiments beautifully in this piece. Lovely format ... very much enjoyed! Best wishes and hugs, /Kit |
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