**authors note**

this poem is about my biological mother. I was given up for adoption at age 6. I've not seen her in 21 years. I'm already in touch and have seen my bio father, and he is the one putting me in touch with her. It's a very long and complicated story, but I do not regret the journey I've taken, and I'm glad I have the strength to share it all with you.
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brushing back the tears again, I try not to think of you
wondering since all these years have passed, now what do I do?
there was a moment in time, when I didn't want to see you
now though there are times when I ache, in my subtle moments of blue

I hear how you've been, but there are so many answers I don't know
as I sit here wondering how does something that was so ugly, from beauty still grow
sometimes the pain hits me so hard, I feel like I could just die
other times I just sit alone and silently cry

people say I have a gentle heart, maybe that's why it gets broken so much
I now only feel cold empty space replacing what use to be some type of your touch
more than two decades have passed, and in all this time my love never died
the pain just became a part of me with all the tears I have cried

now I have a chance to talk to you, to make right out of something that was wrong
but I'm scared to death, of the one thing I've been waiting for so long
I search for the answers, I don't know what I expect to find
Settling for closure though, and some peace of mind

I wonder what you are thinking at this moment, and how often you think of me
Sometimes the anger builds up inside, and I want to let it free
I know though that true healing comes when you've forgiven true and deep
So early on this Thursday morning, I will find no sleep