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Open Poetry #30
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The Smell
| Open Poetry #30 |
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The Smell |
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the ant Junior Member
since 2003-11-30
Posts 18ca, usa |
The sweet smell of just washed hair came past me one day while i was swimming in whiskey colored air I was amazed how one could smell and thought of that water that morning, running through her hair Wishing gently thinking and wanting to be that smell or just once to be the one running my fingers through her brilliant soft hair The dream was wet with deep passionate emotion swimming through the finely layered air I fell into the sink the next morning Just for a chance to touch that silky smooth soft hair |
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| © Copyright 2003 the ant - All Rights Reserved | |||
Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
You really are writing from the stance of an ant, aren't you? How else could you fit in the sink, AND not be noticed by the hair bearer... A great idea, now that I think on it... There are so many things you could see and do as an ant that you can't do as a human. Very interesting! -*-*- |
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KoKo Senior Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 995Inside the shadow's shadow |
I really liked a lot about this peice, but the constant repeat of "hair" kept distracting me. Perhaps you meant it to be that way? |
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