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Open Poetry #30
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Chi Mae on Edge of Flood
| Open Poetry #30 |
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Chi Mae on Edge of Flood |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
The river has risen overnight And now the hut by its banks Sits akimbo on legs That like the old woman Who walks each day to the market are unsure I think of you my husband And know you are someplace Between this water in front of me And the ocean far away Do you dream of me at night Or remember the way laughter lit The eyes of our girls when they Would see you return from such journeys? I dreamed of you early this morning And Ti Si held me as I trembled From the vision of you blackened with mud Someplace along the shores Dead in my dream When daylight finally found its way Past the wall of stars I could cry no more For I knew you were not coming home And that these long days of waiting Had ended for me. I no longer will search for you And my body will no more Struggle to respond to my duties Tomorrow I will drink of the ashes of this fire I began with you so many years ago And I will streak my face With black Not even Ti Si can remove Now I must cut my hair And learn to mourn |
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| © Copyright 2004 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
Sir, you must quit doing in your characters... just when we are getting to know them so intimately... Well done, Sir. |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
..no no...i thought he was coming home! oh dear poor Chi Mae...  cant wait for the next...oh please have him come home!  still loving it! |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
No Captain! Not yet... The story must continue....please sir?! Wow...love your stories...I do, I do. In the midst of winter.. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
grrrrrrrrr you did that on purpose... dang it... alright, next? "sit on top of the world and tell me how you feel...'cause what you feel is what I feel for you.." |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
thank you all... but the story is not about him.. it is about her.. and the journey she is on.. lol.. whether he returns or not at this point... we mut all wait and see.. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ron...Your point of view is so well done...capturing the emotions of a woman is not an easy thing, even for a woman. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
you said something to me earlier that struck a chord..reading this reminded me that I will have to explore it further... for now I will just say I believe you can write like this because you are an old soul who carries many lives...that and the fact that your vision to see what most miss, make it possible for you to step outside yourself and write from so many perspectives, making each your own. A true poet is ageless, genderless, timeless. The only boundries are the ones we cant find words for...you poet sir-- write with "no fences". I am but a (longwinded) grasshopper  (chuckling)  How foolish must man be, not to be impressed by mountains and trees |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
"When daylight finally found its way Past the wall of stars I could cry no more For I knew you were not coming home And that these long days of waiting Had ended for me. I no longer will search for you And my body will no more Struggle to respond to my duties Tomorrow I will drink of the ashes of this fire I began with you so many years ago And I will streak my face With black Not even Ti Si can remove Now I must cut my hair And learn to mourn" LMAO @ JM!! What else could I add??? You keep writin', I'll keep readin'...  "The only boundries are the ones we cant find words for..." Good line!! |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Oh, how sad. More please? hugs, Chris "At one glance |
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Greeneyes 
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
Tomorrow I will drink of the ashes of this fire I began with you so many years ago''' Gads....what words, I wish I had written these, although from a different story, I relate well amazing sir...   ~*~ In your light I learn how to love In your beauty how to make poems You dance inside my chest where no one sees you and that sight becomes art |
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J.Samm Member
since 2004-01-12
Posts 415Iloilo City, Philippines |
so vivid thoughts... the setting simply unfolds. |
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