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1slick_lady
Member Ascendant

since 2000-12-22

Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

0 posted 2004-01-21 07:09 AM

I Forgive Myself

this is not the life
I have chosen
for myself
but this life
for reasons unknown
has chosen me
I have forgotten
more than I
have ever learned
and lately
lessons learned
are painful knowledge
mistakes I have made
now number the stars
in perfection
I only
would seek perfection
but the rules
have changed
since I
first learned them
and I don’t know
what I am doing
anymore
I push
when I should be
pulling
I waited
when I
should seek
and when I have
what I want
in my fingertips
I let it go
out of the fear
of heat
how many request
of forgiveness
do you have
till grace is over
today I found out
the answer is until
you hear
silence
so today
I forgive myself
and it is
the best I can do

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

1 posted 2004-01-21 08:28 AM

"how many request
of forgiveness
do you have
till grace is over"

Helen~ I loved those lines!! How many indeed? And for those that wish grace yet keep doing the same thing over and over...how much grace should they be granted? How many kind hearts should show them mercy? But I personalize...

Hope you are feeling better each day.

"sit on top of the world and tell me how you feel...'cause what you feel is what I feel for you.."
~Dido~

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

2 posted 2004-01-21 08:57 AM

wonderful Helen.. as usual.

Lady In White

Member Elite

since 2001-02-12

Posts 2799
USA

3 posted 2004-01-21 09:08 AM

This twines and winds in and around itself. Forgiveness of one's self should never have to be necessary, but the best people are often judgmental of only themselves, and forgive others easily.

You speak of lessons. I say they have been learned. You did justice to the thought that all is possible, Helen.

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

4 posted 2004-01-21 09:19 AM

OneSlick~

'how many request
of forgiveness
do you have
till grace is over
today I found out
the answer is until
you hear
silence
so today
I forgive myself
and it is
the best I can do'

I would say that you've learned MORE than many will ever learn~
This is marvelous, poetess~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

[email protected]

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

5 posted 2004-01-21 09:28 AM

It is the best anyone can do, really.

Even the religious kind is a conduit for forgiving ourselves....what comes later is an assumption and not under our control. At a personal level, another person's forgiveness frees us to give that to ourselves if we are willing.

Beautiful poem here, dimensions extending in all directions.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Charisma

Member Ascendant

since 2000-09-30

Posts 5906
lost in blue pages

6 posted 2004-01-21 09:32 AM

beautiful penned...thank you for sharing words I can relate on.

Charisma

icebox
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 4383
in the shadows

7 posted 2004-01-21 09:41 AM

"this is not the life
I have chosen
for myself
but this life
for reasons unknown
has chosen me"

This is very true; even when we choose, sometimes the path takes an unexpected turn.

Very well written, thank you for sharing it.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

8 posted 2004-01-21 09:48 AM

Susan
One can only forgive oneself, but the process is each moment anew.

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

9 posted 2004-01-21 10:17 AM

liked it

one of your best

Terrina
Member

since 2003-12-31

Posts 166
California

10 posted 2004-01-21 11:52 AM

I liked this a lot. We should all be so lucky to learn to forgive ourselves

McLean
Member

since 2004-01-05

Posts 484
state of marital bliss

11 posted 2004-01-21 12:57 PM

Yippie! That is such an important thing, forgiveness of one's self. Happy day, this poem, and a display of strength.

McLean

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

12 posted 2004-01-21 12:58 PM

Helen, geez! *tears welling up*

powerfully sadly beautiful

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

13 posted 2004-01-21 01:08 PM

"but the rules
have changed
since I
first learned them"

boy, isn't this so true...sometimes I think that not only have the rules changed, but the very game itself as well

Krawdad
Member Elite

since 2001-01-03

Posts 2597

14 posted 2004-01-21 01:23 PM

This congers up a maelstrom for me.
I almost wish I hadn't read it, but then it is the nature of a maelstrom, never to be free of it, and to be forever reminded.
Let us hope that you are to be thrown free of yours . . . and happy landings.

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

15 posted 2004-01-21 06:50 PM

And it's best FOR you. *S* For in worrying about our lacks, failures and mistakes, we miss true appreciation of all the moments that might not been where we intended to go... but are worth treasuring. *S* Lovely! *S*

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