Open Poetry #30 |
Of Crisp White Sheets |
muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
Those days were always heated.. crisp white sheets beating against the wind and mama's sway blushing the cheeks of all those spying sun beams and beads of sweat. The majesty of tangled hair wrapped tight in a faded red hankie the one that complimented the colour of her lips, after daddy put us to bed. And the world that woman knew fit neatly in the basket strewn with yesterdays peach cobbler and tomorrows goodbye kisses.. the ones all children behave for, cause we know magic doesnt come from apron strings it came from those that tacked her heart up tightly to her breast. Often i wanted longer days gazing at her brown skin, aging and fading ah, but my thrift knew that meant the candle would burn out sooner So i let the nights rest my mother knowing that her voice would break my dreams long before then hens laid my breakfast. But, the labels on her sticky jam jars were washing away with each spring clean And filled each were after the harvests, but always left more tired looking than the seasons before. Just like my mama I'll never tire of sunday mornings best of clean hands before supper of crisp white sheets beating against the wind And the way children behave when waiting for their mama's goodbye kisses. ` Someday I'll fly, Someday I'll soar, |
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© Copyright 2004 Dawn van Krieken-Smith - All Rights Reserved | |||
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Dawn I had chosen this verse as a favorite: And the world that woman knew fit neatly in the basket strewn with yesterdays peach cobbler and tomorrows goodbye kisses.. the ones all children behave for, cause we know magic doesnt come from apron strings it came from those that tacked her heart up tightly to her breast. Then decided..I love it all~~ I would think you too young to have a mother as described here... but even if metaphorically..it is beautiful Maureen p.s. I love the picture |
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Terrina Member
since 2003-12-31
Posts 166California |
I love every bit of this. I love poetry that tells a story, that you can follow and dream and become a part of. You've taken me there. Thank you |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
nicely told... I always enjoy a good story.. and a good metaphor is welcome anytime. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Thank you very, very much... |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
Maureen: believe it or not, when i was a small child, my mother did make her own jam and pickles and various jarred vegies! we had a vegtable patch in our back yard..(and we did live in the city)..but we are from the south, and my mother did make peach cobbler, and we did go to church....but overall...the story is a metaphor! im so glad you like it!! cause as tacky as it sounds, i just about started crying reading to myself! (and thank you for liking my photo ) Terrina: im so glad you were "taken there", its a nice thought to be in Cpat: LOL, me a storyteller? i bow down to you great one...*giggle*....thank you Sunshine: you are very very welcome! so nice to have you here in this space, sharing my little dream. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
"i bow down to you great one" lmao. whether said with tongue in cheek, sarcastic, or in play... referring to me as a great one is bound to be funny.... you told a nice story here... so accept that fact and hush that gigling... |
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poetically ghetto Member
since 2004-01-20
Posts 100 |
what a powerful piece you just know a lot of work went into this thanx for sharing |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
I love it..I love it..I love it!! And therefore I proclaim it a keeper! Into my library it goes. ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ In the midst of winter.. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(smiles) Awwwwwwwww, this beautiful poem brought tears to my eyes as it reminded me so much of my grandma and grandpa, sweet friend, they always love to harvest blackberries and raspberries and pumpkins out in the garden and every autumn we come to visit and they'd make the most delicious cobblers and I'd help hang clothes on the clothesline and memorize proverbs from grandma's beautiful china plates into my heart to cherish forever! (big angel hugs) God Bless You, sweet friend, this is a treasure, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Dawn, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "You'll find something that's enough to keep you |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
Cpat: *zipping up my lip*...saving giggles for later! Poetically: well, not alot of work, just alot of emotion..thank you so much Enchantress: *SMILE* you have made my day! Noah: oh, i love blackberries....im so glad sweet memories were shared between us..thank you! |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Dawn, I loved this story, and am glad that your Mama (my Southern talk), did these things for you so that you would think of it to write about. This was beautiful and you had your readers right there. By the way, my Mom still makes jellies, jams, peach cobblers, etc. She doesn't hang clothes on the line anymore, but she used to. (Oh, and I like the picture, too.) Ethel |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Muted, I have goosebumps! This hit so close to my heart! Beautiful, beautiful poem. What a wonderful mother. |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Oh, what a treasure this is! Library bound!! hugs, Chris "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know |
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choshi Senior Member
since 2004-01-01
Posts 1184New York |
Dawn, you paint such a beautiful image here...filled in with such shades of emotion. While reading so many warm memories of my own childhood began to stir up. i love when poems can evoke so well...Thank you ~C |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
beautiful, indeed!! ~*~ |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Took me back to the days when my own mother hung the sheets, and canned jams and vegies. Very nicely told. "sit on top of the world and tell me how you feel...'cause what you feel is what I feel for you.." |
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A Romantic Heart Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496Forever In Your Heart |
Dawn~ You have great talent in writing poetry, I agree with the story telling, you are great at making the reader feel your experiance~ ~ARH Open your eyes, open your mind, open your heart, let me come in and show you love.....~ARH |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
thank you for the kind memories *smile* |
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McLean Member
since 2004-01-05
Posts 484state of marital bliss |
Salutations, muted. This is just a beautiful writing, so full of senses and memories. I love the "labels on the jam jars" image, and comparing it to her "fading". That is so creative and simply perfect in turning this scene into something tangible. Way to go! McLean |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Jeez Dawn, this is absolutely incredible..Cpat is right, ya a good storyteller lovely lady. Happy Mothers Day! I'm keeping it CTM M The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colours, but the sea, does not change. |
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