navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #30 » Unheard
Open Poetry #30
Post A Reply Post New Topic Unheard Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought

0 posted 2004-01-20 02:51 AM



Somebodies love song
Was lost in the wind,
Caught in the trees,
And faded,
By dim
Tints
Of
M
o
o
n
l
i
g
h
t
.


He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.


[This message has been edited by GG (01-20-2004 03:31 PM).]

© Copyright 2004 GG - All Rights Reserved
muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
1 posted 2004-01-20 03:05 AM


love this!
love this!
.....did i mention i loved this!

beautiful little gem of a poem!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2004-01-20 03:06 AM


great piece...you know what I thought when I looked at it though...?

it would be cool to see moonlight done like this...like a tail of a kite...whatyathink?

m
o
o
n
l
i
g
h
t

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
3 posted 2004-01-20 03:21 AM


GG -- this was a marvel!    hugs....jo
GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
4 posted 2004-01-20 03:35 AM


muted,
lol so do you love it? I'm honored! Thank you much

Dix,
you're a genious! I'm gonna change it loveya

iliana,
thank you! I'm glad you think so

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

Kristin Eve
Member
since 2004-01-13
Posts 89
On, Canada
5 posted 2004-01-20 04:05 AM


i disagree...

I think the direction of this poem is PERFECT as it is... and i LOVE it.

Beautiful beautiful work!

"By the time you finish reading this...
You will have finished readding this"

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
6 posted 2004-01-20 04:09 AM


either way was great! I just had a vision and wanted to share it...I love it both ways!

awesome stuff! I love you too, girl

Kristin Eve
Member
since 2004-01-13
Posts 89
On, Canada
7 posted 2004-01-20 04:14 AM


oh. i guess i should exlplain WHY i like it... hehe...

It reminds me of a large funnel.
Like the song was once so
arduous and amplified...
but slowly,
as the melody went unheard,
each passing note
broke alone
and independantly
fell
to
the
ground
in sounds of
sighs
instead of
thunderous, passionate song.

i think it's absolutely exquisite just the way it is.

"By the time you finish reading this...
You will have finished readding this"

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
8 posted 2004-01-20 04:26 AM


Kirstin,
the way it is now is from the what Dix said, before I just had moonlight on one line. I liked her idea too... I'm glad you like it! Thanks for both replies!

Dix,
glad you did thank you...

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
9 posted 2004-01-20 06:39 AM


Beautiful!!

enjoyed it very, very much

Charisma

ThUnDeRkYsS
Senior Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 727
Wisconsin
10 posted 2004-01-20 09:46 AM


Great job with this, very enjoyable read for this morning, thank you

Brian

Strive for higher levels, if they seem out of reach... Grow, and they will get closer.



Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
11 posted 2004-01-20 11:08 AM


OhAlyssa~
Not only are the word-thoughts totally creative ... the 'suggested' formatting is IMPRESSIVE as well~

That little DixieDoodle has an eye for style, doesn't she ?

This is one CLASSY PIECE~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~


~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

noles1@totcon.com

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
12 posted 2004-01-21 12:05 PM


Charisma,
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it and replied...

Brian,
thank you sir! good morning, or uh evening now, to you. Glad you liked it.

Marge,
she sure does! Thanks for your kind reply, you're always so sweet.

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

13 posted 2004-02-06 04:23 PM


GG,
   This was excellent by one and tremendous by two.  I liked the way you and Dixie played with this!   Either way, it is great!
Take care...
             Sadie

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
14 posted 2004-02-07 01:50 AM


Cathy,
aww wow I didn't expect to see this back up again. Thank you so much for the reply! Take care...

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #30 » Unheard

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary