Open Poetry #30 |
maybe you did |
Jason Lyle Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438With my darkling |
I knew at that instant that single moment when your voice dropped to a whisper you where about to deliver truth I did not want hear maybe you might consider telling me a lie instead? I do better with those... maybe without much effort you could string me on a few more days I'll pretend not to notice we would both feel much better for a few more days and in return I will gift you the fact that you pretended to try harder |
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© Copyright 2003 Jason Lyle - All Rights Reserved | |||
young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
hmmmm......it was good, but yet it seemed to lack something....imagery maybe? i dont know....hmmm..its so different from my style -alex now im alone, but not lonely like before |
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Jason Lyle Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438With my darkling |
nah, you didn't miss a thing, most will tell you, I deliver blunt, I will work on that. Jason |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
ooooo, ouch this just smacked me in the face |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Jason: this is one of your best , truly maybe you might consider telling me a lie instead? I do better with those... yes, well . . me too *smile* this one left me with a black eye . . . xxoo |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
ooh this is good, I know this one. I've been there... Felt it, Love it! Always, Alyssa He was a man of sorrows |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
a very telling write..enjoyed *s M |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
Strong emotions in this write Jason. believe in what your heart feels... |
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Gina Culliney Member
since 2003-03-08
Posts 170 |
Lol! strong ain't the word! like a gut punch! Great write as usual Darklng, keep em coming! missed your work on the site! |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
takiung the lie to some is their truth, oh well something like that |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Don't you hate it when you can see it coming? You had me from the very beginning! Great poem Jason~ |
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SharaRose Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2501Somewhere out there~ |
The worst kind of dread..the one you even find yourself negotiating in your own mind. Wow...been a long time ago, but I remember this feeling. Creepy that you capture it so well it brought it all back. Yikes! Love, Terri~ Well I will go down with this ship |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
jason, excellent writing! this one had a punch to it...very direct, but I loved it! Happy Holidays, Amy "love is like a butterfly-- |
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