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Jason Lyle
Senior Member

since 2003-02-07

Posts 1438
With my darkling

0 posted 2003-11-28 12:29 PM

I knew at that instant
that single moment
when your voice
dropped to a
whisper

you where about
to deliver
truth I did
not want hear

maybe you might
consider
telling me a lie instead?

I do better with those...

maybe without much effort
you could string me
on a few more days
I'll pretend not
to notice

we would both
feel much better
for a few
more days

and in return
I will gift you
the fact that
you pretended
to try harder

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

1 posted 2003-11-28 12:38 PM

hmmmm......it was good, but yet it seemed to lack something....imagery maybe? i dont know....hmmm..its so different from my style
-alex

now im alone, but not lonely like before

Jason Lyle
Senior Member

since 2003-02-07

Posts 1438
With my darkling

2 posted 2003-11-28 12:56 PM

nah, you didn't miss a thing, most will tell you, I deliver blunt, I will work on that.

Jason

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2003-11-28 03:15 AM

ooooo, ouch

this just smacked me in the face

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

4 posted 2003-11-29 05:00 AM

Jason:

this is one of your best , truly

maybe you might
consider
telling me a lie instead?

I do better with those...

yes, well . . me too
*smile* this one left me with a
black eye . . .
xxoo

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

5 posted 2003-11-29 08:16 AM

ooh this is good, I know this one.
I've been there...
Felt it, Love it!

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

6 posted 2003-11-29 08:29 AM

a very telling write..enjoyed *s
M

scorpio
Member Ascendant

since 2002-10-02

Posts 5178
right...there

7 posted 2003-11-29 09:03 AM

Strong emotions in this write Jason.

believe in what your heart feels...

Gina Culliney
Member

since 2003-03-08

Posts 170

8 posted 2003-12-04 05:34 PM

Lol! strong ain't the word! like a gut punch!
Great write as usual Darklng, keep em coming!
missed your work on the site!

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

9 posted 2003-12-04 06:15 PM

enjoyed

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

10 posted 2003-12-04 06:29 PM

takiung the lie to some is their truth, oh well something like that

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

11 posted 2003-12-05 08:06 PM

Don't you hate it when you can see it coming?
You had me from the very beginning!

Great poem Jason~

SharaRose
Member Elite

since 2003-07-19

Posts 2501
Somewhere out there~

12 posted 2003-12-06 02:51 AM

The worst kind of dread..the one you even find yourself negotiating in your own mind. Wow...been a long time ago, but I remember this feeling. Creepy that you capture it so well it brought it all back. Yikes!

Love,
Terri~

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender...Dido

Aimster
Member Elite

since 2000-02-19

Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC

13 posted 2003-12-14 06:02 PM

jason,

excellent writing! this one had a
punch to it...very direct, but I loved
it!
Happy Holidays,
Amy

"love is like a butterfly--
if you chase it,
it will surely fly away,instead
hold it close and watch it grow into
something beautiful"
~me~

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