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Open Poetry #30
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chrissydome
Member
since 2003-11-28
Posts 73
germany

0 posted 2004-01-17 04:54 PM


i was standing naked and fettered in chains
in a dark red house that had no basement
i was swimming in a lake of blood and tears
try to smile
try to smile
try to smile

cold metal exoriating my wrists
my throat cauterized and sour
i was regurgitating food i never had
try to live
try to live
try to live

someone entered the room with a knife in his hands
if i could have i had fallen to my knees
i was quietly begging for him to make it quick
let me die
let me die
let me die

he's coming closer now
  - god, help me, if you are there
i can smell his skin
  - if i only could...
he's touching my face
  - now i'm lost

he poured water over my eyes
took the knife, cut through the ties
kissed my forehead and caressed my soul
make me whole
make me whole
make me whole

turning mirrors upside down won't make dust fall off the ground, hiding wounds won't ease the pain, sleep won't make you whole again...

© Copyright 2004 Christina Domene - All Rights Reserved
DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917

1 posted 2004-01-17 05:02 PM


This sounds more like a nightmare

The words remind me of watching a japanese film once in a hotel in Manila

The thrill of capture the fear of the future and the release to a lost future

A very bold write almost tribal and submissive

Interesting

Dave

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
2 posted 2004-01-17 06:03 PM


What a story -- the ending left me with goosebumps!  Good one.  I liked the way you used rhythm and repetition.  
dinky
Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258

3 posted 2004-01-17 10:03 PM


this was soo good.
it gave me chills.

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