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Open Poetry #30

can’t fix mechanic

xerxes
Junior Member

since 2001-08-05

Posts 34

0 posted 2004-01-13 05:29 PM

Sold my emotions, never made a dollar
Guesses for questions, it answers I could only doubt her.
Bring back down a view and keep me safe
Didn’t ask for feelings, it’s supposed to be a simple place.
A home without a smiling fix,
I can’t find the foundation; I just keep hugging these glass bricks.
Didn’t convince the reflection to keep me sane
I saw you lying down in halls of shame
If there were words that could repair a change, I‘d write them everyday.
A candlestick sinking, memories erupt, melting thoughts of your face
Wasn’t sure I’d remember, an illusion cries to be erased.
Yell what you say, whisper what’s truly said
Your head full of trash, recycle a wish, I’d listen misled.
Shelter from the shield, if you could feel
This wouldn’t burn like high winds in a grey cane field.

MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite

since 2001-06-21

Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...

1 posted 2004-01-13 07:03 PM

For me, this reads like lyrics. You've got some heavy and unique imagry and metaphors here, some of which grow a stronger chill after the read and with the ponder. Strong write.

-MVS

You CAN make a difference:
http://educate-yourself.org/

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

2 posted 2004-01-13 07:09 PM

xerxes -- I agree with Mark's comment above completely!

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