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Open Poetry #30
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Obscurity
Member
since 2003-12-04
Posts 153
In A Melancholic Dream

0 posted 2004-01-07 04:05 AM


There was a haunting silence from the wind
Dawns tranquil melancholy taints the spirit
The desires of what could - cloaked by ebony
And the autumn burnt the oak to cinders
Bleak memories forlorn...
Blown away with oaken ashes of autumn

© Copyright 2004 Brett Gailey - All Rights Reserved
A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart
1 posted 2004-01-07 04:24 AM


My favorite line was the last line...

~ARH

Open your eyes, open your mind, open your heart, let me come in and show you love.....~ARH

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2004-01-07 04:34 AM


very sad and haunting
Michelle_loves_Mike
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-12-20
Posts 1189
Pennsylvania
3 posted 2004-01-07 12:13 PM


ashes can be from many sources,,,,a passion aflame!,,,,,,a hope downed in flames,,,,
but always,,they are reminders,,and teachers,,,
good write
Michelle

I wish all could find the true happiness I have found,,in the eyes of Mike

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2004-01-07 01:48 PM


Obscurity~
This is such a lovely penning~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
         noles1@totcon.com

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
5 posted 2004-01-07 03:43 PM


yes, haunting melancholy pervades this one...good job!

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Terrina
Member
since 2003-12-31
Posts 166
California
6 posted 2004-01-07 03:46 PM


This is one of the greats
Opeth
Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543
The Ravines
7 posted 2004-01-08 09:38 AM


I felt a sudden chill upon reading this. Enjoyed!
steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

8 posted 2004-01-15 11:15 PM


"The desires of what could"

The memories of what could be are often wisked away by the winds of time as are the ashes of a fall fire.  Excellent imagery

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
9 posted 2004-01-16 12:12 PM


Very good writing -- "Blown away with oaken ashes of autumn."  
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
10 posted 2004-01-16 12:24 PM


There is something about an autumn fire that is eternal.
TD

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