»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #30
»
My Silence
| Open Poetry #30 |
|
My Silence |
|
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I stood there surrounded by the tile door closed, quiet time for a while I touch my face to find it wet The shower hasn’t been turned on yet Will my tears wash away this stain of another love failed to attain? Cleansed in the hour of need robbed in the end by a liar’s seed He believed her story about me and chose to escape in mutiny I stood there mouthing no reply let him turn and tell me goodbye Too proud to beg for his credulity too proud to give him that guarantee and so I stand in a waterless shower hollow the victory of my power. |
||
| © Copyright 2004 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
Oh, Poet deVine, this is so painful. This verse... "He believed her story about me and chose to escape in mutiny I stood there mouthing no reply let him turn and tell me goodbye" ...tells me you're better off, in the long run. But yes, in the meantime the pain is unbearable and you've written it so well. ~K~ |
||
|
WildPoet Member
since 2003-11-10
Posts 205California |
DeVine, This aches of trust unraveled Down a path we've all traveled  WildPoet  **** |
||
Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Wow girl you are on a roll today! This was sure an heartbreaker that was so very well written. However, this I had trouble picturing of you so knew it was "just a poem", LOL ... stood there mouthing no reply Somehow I just couldn't picture you being silent.  |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
this is exactly the sort of thing I was talking about! Very convincing, and achingly real. sheesh lady. Y'did it again.  |
||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
ouch peace to you...and angel hugs around you |
||
|
LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Well said, Miss deVine. I can see you there, proud and hurt. You are some kind of poet, but you already know that. |
||
|
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
the ironies of life that in some of our strongest moments we are the weakest. peace n' hugs |
||
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
PoetdeVine~ A moment pen-captured~ *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
||
|
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
great poem, Sharon captured the hurt and pain hugs M |
||
|
Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
poignant, but so touching, so full of feeling...so well done. Hugs. |
||
|
HopeS Member Elite
since 2000-12-22
Posts 4596Perth Western Australia |
Wow , you may be silent , but your poem excellently expressed the pain Hope |
||
|
Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Your pain is powerfully expressed ... not sure whether resignation will be the last word. When there is no trust and easy belief of others' tale ... it hurts and a feeling of powerlessness takes over. May the shower stop! Love, Margherita |
||
|
Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
A poignant poem, PDV. Good to read your words again, though! Hope all is well with you. Corinne |
||
|
xaos Junior Member
since 2004-01-05
Posts 35 |
"Too proud to beg for his credulity too proud to give him that guarantee and so I stand in a waterless shower hollow the victory of my power." Lovely work Pride is always a double edged sword and it defiantely cuts both ways! |
||
|
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
He believed her story about me I know this too well... and some silences are bought with shock that such could be so. *S* Excellent write, my friend! *S* |
||
|
Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Pride is often the downfall for the foolish, and the waves of deceit can, in time, erode the strongest foundation, as the speaker so unequivocally espouses. Very well written, PdV. Frankly, I'm surprised your page borders didn't burst from the raw power of this one, held briefly tame by the ink's embrace. Alicat |
||
|
garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Sharon, this really touched me. I could see her standing there silently, hurting to the inner core of her being....while he was accusing her of all the untruth he had heard. I know how this part feels. I know that sometimes people believe what they really want to believe in the first place.... and it hurts very badly. Hugs to you, Ethel |
||
|
iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Really, really liked this one! |
||
|
Ariana Senior Member
since 2000-10-08
Posts 571Orlando, Florida |
Sharon This brings out all of the pain and tears. You have captured it all well. It deserves to get bumped to the beginning. Ariana |
||
|
Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Superb. But then, aren't most all of yours? So, I'll say Superbier. Hugs JThere is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
||
|
Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
sometimes the silence of the tears aching to come forth has no end, beautifully written loved the comparison of the shower to tears. |
||
|
skyshine
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058Beneath the northern stars |
why does the path to love have to be so rough???   ~skyHold on, if you feel like letting go |
||
|
jaicie114 Senior Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 750On the edge of forever |
PdV...very intense write here...you are awesome with imagery. Thank you. Love and Light...jc This I know as Truth...we are all Beings of Light. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
