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Open Poetry #30
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huddersfield
Junior Member
since 2003-12-29
Posts 25
huddersfield, England

0 posted 2004-01-04 07:33 PM



The rock, how I hate the rock.
Large and unsightly,
Staring at me from within.
I can feel the weight,
Hammering against the walls of my chest,
Spreading the dull ache with the
Slow methodical pace of the inevitable.
Do I need a chain gang?
To break away this rock.
An attempt for a quick solution,
That, if it doesn’t work can be easily forgot
And if the one hammer does not work,
Should I carry on and try two, three or maybe even four.
But for all the trying, does it not only add to the hammering inside
Getting tighter n more compact so the resonations can spread
With more impact and force.
The answer to the problem is plain and simple.
In time the rock will get weathered,
But never forgotten, as pebbles will remain,
A distant memory of how things can change.
The problems will lighten, and hope will return
Time is the best enemy for the rock to face
To be patient, and let it take its course.
But words are easy to say,
As it seems so far away.
The quick solution always seems the best,
But its time to learn,
The rock will get weathered,
And ill be free to love again.

© Copyright 2004 Glynn Denniss - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
1 posted 2004-01-04 07:55 PM


a heartfelt write
hope the new year sets your heart free

wintertao
Member
since 2003-11-17
Posts 366
Okaloosa Island, FL
2 posted 2004-01-04 10:00 PM


very nice...some great lines in here

"Do I need a chain gang?
To break away this rock."

I think a few of the lines in the poem could be cut, I would also try re-arranging the order of some of the lines just to see how it reads. Well done.


Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

3 posted 2004-01-04 10:21 PM


huddersfield,
   Incredible thinking and presentation!   Wow!  
                       Sadelite

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
4 posted 2004-01-05 02:29 AM


nice...love the ending
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2004-01-05 03:11 PM


Enjoyed this read ... reminded me of an old song about getting rid of the rock~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
         noles1@totcon.com

Terrina
Member
since 2003-12-31
Posts 166
California
6 posted 2004-01-05 03:13 PM


Use words to hammer your rock...you're good at that!
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
7 posted 2004-01-05 03:31 PM


Fantastic piece of work here!
Very much enjoyed!
Hugs~

    In the midst of winter..
I found there lives within me,
    an invincible summer.

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