When Tiredness is Your Master

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Open Poetry #30

When Tiredness is Your Master

DavePage
Member Elite

since 2003-12-21

Posts 2917

0 posted 2004-01-04 06:50 PM

When Tiredness is your Master
Talk with yourself
Nothing is the matter
But you can't let the world go free

Sleep you must
Sick of your life - a waste
Sleeping for want
Sleeping for haste
Sleeping to rid yourself of the taste

Grateful
For demand
Of loud-mouth loud braces
World is their behind

But still the tiger drags
You kissing up it's tail
Until you hit the tree
And they add another nail

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

1 posted 2004-01-04 07:06 PM

You have a dark sense of humour!
Nice.
Love, Margherita

DavePage
Member Elite

since 2003-12-21

Posts 2917

2 posted 2004-01-04 07:17 PM

Pity I am writing stuff that isn't really ready.

Last 4 lines I like, the overall scope but I can't make the rest work.

The original was verbose and boring.

Thanks for your comments but I feel you are being kind.

regards

Dave

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