Open Poetry #30 |
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Something Not Mine |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace ![]() |
Something Not Mine suspended my heart feels like a leaf in whirl of wind trapped in an invisible force of tumble with each breath I take I die a little more finger tips grasp at air to something so close yet so far away aching for something not mine afraid to sleep in fear there you appear where the only place I hold you now is in memory and every tear shows a trail of pain and the only way to describe you now is gone |
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© Copyright 2003 Helen Chambers - All Rights Reserved | |||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Some things just never are, ours. Well done, Helen... |
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garysgirl![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Helen, I felt an ache in this one. Heart Hugs to you, sweet lady ![]() Ethel |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Wow....just Wow! Fantastic Helen! Hugs~ In the midst of winter.. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
gawd! I know what you mean! ![]() |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Yes, I've felt that -- you described it so well. |
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chrissydome Member
since 2003-11-28
Posts 73germany |
that's so beautifully aching, it touches me so deep, especially last few lines. great work! |
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Kaoru![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
"with each breath I take I die a little more" I like you for a reason. |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
"afraid to sleep in fear there you appear where the only place I hold you now is in memory" Wow, that's like a review of my New Year's Eve. Stunningly sharp, numbingly true. |
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vandana![]()
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
nice read ![]() |
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DavePage Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917 |
Something Not Mine suspended my heart feels like a leaf in whirl of wind trapped in an invisible force of tumble with each breath I take I die a little more finger tips grasp at air to something so close yet so far away aching for something not mine afraid to sleep in fear there you appear where the only place I hold you now is in memory and every tear shows a trail of pain and the only way to describe you now is gone |
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DavePage Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917 |
Screw up on my side - post script I liked the short sharp penetration to the brain. Can I ask you to look at the wind by a traffic light with a bored policeman. Would you write that, please. Dave |
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Terrina Member
since 2003-12-31
Posts 166California |
You are very talented...I like short scentences and thoughts, like you can't write as fast as you think. That's great |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Dang! All my tries at using a Leaf as the symbology for my heart are naught - compared to this... Loved it... jimmy |
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Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
Helen - your poetry is so powerful and probes so deeply - it is just great - Paul |
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