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Open Poetry #30
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The Midstreet Bar
| Open Poetry #30 |
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The Midstreet Bar |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Christmas lights twinkle Surrounding the neon red flashing Cold Beer It’s a place of cruder things More basic Cold Beer The buzzer and the steel Gives a fortified feel Of safety with garlands, Cold Beer Smoky atmosphere Something you can understand. Few are in the place Not a friendly face Cold Beer They don’t care It’s a place of twilight Smoke that will sting the light Eyes that water Yet never quite overflow Is it for something you forgot or know Cold Beer Chair or stool Stooge or fool Sitting standing loud or silent It really doesn’t matter a bit Barely warmer than in the winds Cold Beer Warms slowly when sitting here Last call makes the leaving near Barely warm or tasted Departing and more is wasted The neon darkens Christmas lights twinkle there still Chill winds now hurry Gloom |
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| © Copyright 2003 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
very, very well done... |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
the bars are always more pleasant when described by your words than they are in real... nicely done M |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Professor, Well done, enjoyed the read. |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
I profess that I greatly enjoy the imagery you employ in your works, taking the mundane, the everyday, the corners and edges and twisting them just so, pulling back a dingy sheet used as a rickety stage's curtain and showing not what is behind, but what is before. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
sounds like a portrait of Pottersville--once the idyllic Bedford Falls-- from the Capra classic It's a Wonderful Life. Where was Clarence when the world needed him, eh? You...poet, you.  happy holidays anyhoo?  (serenity exits, frantically ringing bells) |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
I liked the way you "tapped" onto the thoughts in this one, Professor. It’s a place of twilight Smoke that will sting the light Eyes that water Yet never quite overflow I really liked the way you presented those almost watering eyes right after the "sting" of light. Hm. I wonder where that light originated. I love your poetry-you make one feel it with every sense. Sadie |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
You always amaze me with the portraits you paint of ordinary surroundings and make them extraordinary. Merry Christmas to you, and the cat  |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
that's depressing...I like it |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Well done, sir. As always, I thoroughly enjoyed this one. |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Not exactly a Christmas card, is it? But for the lonely souls inside, it has its place. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
whoops! I meant to comment on this part earlier and forgot, but remembered as I passed through here later. Warms slowly when sitting here Last call makes the leaving near These two lines, especially, captured lonliness. I like the way the sense of time is woven here. Sadie [This message has been edited by Sadelite (12-18-2003 09:50 PM).] |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Thank you All For taking the time to read and respond. Gloom |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
This is one of my favorites, a snapshot of the other guy at Christmas time. It's a snapshot well worth shooting to the top again! |
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Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
This reminds me of a Tom Waits song. It's "wonderfully" gloomy. I admire your artistry... ~K~ |
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