I went to visit Toerag in his Alabama town
Where one-room shacks are mansions and the grass is always brown,
Where men are men and sheep are nervous - that's the home of Toe
But it was Christmas time so I dropped by to say hello.


I pulled up to his place while dodging potholes in the road
And barely missed the outhouse that he used for a commode.
Three dogs, two chickens and a goat were laying on the lawn
But it was not menageries that my eyes settled on.

Toerag had a nativity scene right there in his front yard!
I don't know how he did it 'cause it had to be quite hard
But there was Jesus in the manger, Joseph and Mary, too
Three wise men were represented, standing in full view.

But there was something very odd they way it was laid out.
There was a part of it that I was not too sure about.
The three wise men were wearing firehats! What the heck was that??
Each wise man stood there, grandly, in a shiny red firehat!!!

Just then the front door opened. Toerag called out, "Hey, there, 'deer!!
What brings a cultured, city-slicker like you around here?"
"Came by to wish you Merry Christmas", I stretched out my hand,
"but, good friend, I see something here that I don't understand."

"This nativity scene on your front lawn is really quite a sight."
"Shore is purty, ain't it?" Toerag smiled with great delight.
I tried to hide my smile as I said, "Yes, it sure is that
But why are all the wise men wearing shiny red firehats???"

"Hey, Balladeer! Don't y'all read the Bible? What is wrong with you?"
Having a strong religious background, I said, "Yes, I do.
I've read the Bible many times and I can tell you that
I've NEVER seen where it says that the wise men wore firehats!!!"

We went inside and Toerag said, "Well, ah'll show you mahself!"
And reached and took a dogeared Bible from a dusty shelf.
He thumbed through several pages and then screamed out, "There you are!!
It says right here the three wise men had all come from afar!!"