Open Poetry #29 |
He Knows |
yv Senior Member
since 2003-05-30
Posts 574 |
The other day I bore my soul Wrote a song about being Overjoyed Overloved And still I can't get over you Let so many days go by Wasted energy on a lie You prophsized as truth So, Truth be told You make the light I waited to hear you speak Felt your kisses in my sleep But sleep it was It was a dream Like so many of the Lust love gave me to Whisper your name Being as bright eyed Even naive Never could I have thought You couldn't be deceived Even the intelligence you Emitted to me I could not beleive you Thought of me Other wise your friends Laughed at me While you smirked and New me I still waited to see if You were thee So being lonesome and in love My eyes beheld a mystery Why, to me, it seemed Did you open up doors Make water crash shores Make women out of whores? I was so afraid of being Uncovered My feelings stripped Naked Sore Brazen My heart unvieled to you Yet you still hold back I learend from friends of a lifetime That you knew But I was still blue In the blackness of dark Nervous and afraid of your Heart So now it is true That I belong to you You not wanting me but Me needing you Too hard it is for me to Say no to you Because my eyes still new Your face I cannot behold Without beholding 10,000 times two So singing mad love songs about you All I do is think about you And writing tells stories more true If I had my way Surely you would be closer But long ago and so far away Did I fall in love with you As I fly without wings As the sun goes down on me My castle of love has been thrown The sandman no longer roams And though you don't believe That they do They do come true For did my dreams come true when I looked at you I'm completely overjoyed Overloved Yet still Now and forever I cannot get over you Your lips inspire poetry That's what you are to me Lines written in the heart About a tongue grazing the Luscious lips of an Unknowing heart Yet he knows But does he hold true The true meaning of I do? I do everything to keep from you Yet you kept my heart With you As I hold this secret From you So still as I lay in waiting For you I am still overjoyed Overloved And honest to God and true Am unable to get over you Two truths One love Me You We two Too true I do Love you... yv *I thoroughly encourage criticism and anything I can do to make my poetry better. If there is anything that you beleive, as fellow writers of the spiritual truth, that I need to improve on, do not hesitate to tell me. Thank you. yv [This message has been edited by yv (11-17-2003 08:52 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2003 Camiele - All Rights Reserved | |||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I loved the open feeling in this, a veritable non stop flowing stream of emotional longing. It's not the kind of write I feel comfy critiquing, as it is an unpretentious straight-from-the-heart kind of piece that is far too personal for me to critique. Besides, I am a lousy critiquer. LOL I enjoyed the heart write. |
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