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Open Poetry #29
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Jes
Member
since 2003-10-21
Posts 422
Denmark

0 posted 2003-11-16 11:25 AM


Standing in the left corner were silence lost its word..
Standing in the middle were the water lost the waves..
Standing in the right corner were the fire lost the heat..

Standing in the world that lost the human hearts.

Smile

Jes




[This message has been edited by Jes (11-16-2003 11:35 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 Jes Didrichsen - All Rights Reserved
Sparticus
Member
since 2003-11-15
Posts 245

1 posted 2003-11-16 11:31 AM


I like the use of repetition in this...spelling "middle" I love images, they give a  poem substance.

Good write, over all.

Jes
Member
since 2003-10-21
Posts 422
Denmark
2 posted 2003-11-16 11:34 AM


Smile thanks for the reply sparticus i will just get that middle word changed.

Smile

Jes


Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

3 posted 2003-11-16 12:06 PM


Jes.
   Oh my goodness--this is good.  With so few words, you say so much!
                          Sadelite

Jes
Member
since 2003-10-21
Posts 422
Denmark
4 posted 2003-11-16 12:14 PM


Hehehhe smile thanks Sadelite, for the kind words

Big smile

Jes


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2003-11-16 12:40 PM


Jes, I like this. It's a little like Zen.

Cool write.

Bonnie j
Senior Member
since 2003-06-27
Posts 1588
Ohio
6 posted 2003-11-16 01:11 PM


Now I recognize you. You are the one standing in the middle.
Good One.
See Ya
Bon-Bon

Jes
Member
since 2003-10-21
Posts 422
Denmark
7 posted 2003-11-16 01:29 PM


Smile Thanks Passing for the kind words.

Thanks to you too Bonnie, yeah maybe i am the one with the water, but if you look behind, every sentence tells about silence, maybe im scared about if it become silent arround mee, but to say the truth im on a road were i think i need it for a while.

So tahst why all my thoughts these days, i have to think over alot.

But im always smiling with my words.

Smile

Jes


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