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Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

0 posted 2003-11-13 01:10 PM

Uncle Walt is Dead

Every dawn marks a fresh new day,
a birth of hope and chance.
Every dusk marks an elfin night--
a sweet enchanted dance.

*No. Sorry. That’s the Disney version.

There’s only one night
and that strumpet’s sinful old.
She reaches out to catch you
with claws crippled by the cold.
She’ll trade a silver kiss
for a workman’s hoarded gold;
but as the itch starts burning,
you’ll wonder what she sold.

When the newborn happy day
shines on your haggard face,
you’ll ache to hold the raddled jade
and stroke her tawdry lace.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2003-11-13 01:15 PM

Nancy, this is very deep and touching

*headed to the closet to break out vacation pictures*

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

2 posted 2003-11-13 01:20 PM

Thanks, it's a metaphor for addiction, and I don't do metaphor very well. I was hoping that someone could tell me how to make it clearer without losing the symbology.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

WildPoet
Member

since 2003-11-10

Posts 205
California

3 posted 2003-11-13 03:08 PM

I loved it! Kept reading it over and over!

Thanks

WildPoet

Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

4 posted 2003-11-13 03:19 PM

nice

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

5 posted 2003-11-13 03:20 PM

You made me smile...wryly, but smile,
nevertheless.

You do have a wit, and you use it well, Nan.

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

6 posted 2003-11-13 03:48 PM

(big hugggssssssss) Oh Nancy, I had a feeling some sort of anti-depressant or addiction was the focus of this, sweet friend, it saddens me to see many overdose like this and ruin their health! (sad sigh) I pray for all these victims, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Nancy, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set and I perceive

***Live***

LiL-Jew
Junior Member

since 2003-10-28

Posts 30

7 posted 2003-11-13 03:56 PM

i like poetry that makes me think.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

8 posted 2003-11-13 04:11 PM

Very much enjoyed.
Hugs~

~I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before~

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

9 posted 2003-11-13 04:18 PM

Excellent! and great tempo too...

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