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Open Poetry #29

Love

exhale
Senior Member

since 2003-06-13

Posts 646
Alberta,Canada

0 posted 2003-11-09 07:47 PM

i'm so afraid to love you
but more afraid to lose you
but what is love without loss?
you'd never really know it
feel it
believe it
'till you lose it
till you've felt the pain of loving someone too much
to love is to hurt
to hurt is to learn
love is one big lesson
that you're never to old to learn

[This message has been edited by exhale (11-09-2003 11:05 PM).]

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

1 posted 2003-11-09 09:18 PM

No, one is never to old to learn lessons
from love...and the feelings are the same,
whether positive or negative..

Thanx for sharing this with us.

regarding your critique remarks...
a couple of things you can fix...

Line 8...after someone...change "to" into "too".
Last line...change your to you're (as in "you
are") That will help a little bit in your
grammatical construction.

[This message has been edited by Magnus (11-09-2003 09:19 PM).]

j0n4th4n
Member

since 2003-03-11

Posts 94

2 posted 2003-11-12 08:38 PM

this was lovely.. simple, effective, clear and brave. a mature write.

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