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jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

0 posted 2003-11-06 11:40 AM

Shattered, reeling,
broken and begging
questioning without answer;
there is no clear reason.

Added to my existing overload
a feather would be unbearable so
Lord
You and I both know
that this
is one straw too many.

The confusion is unarguable,
so much there is that is not
understood, but this I know,
Your Word is truth
and You promised not more
than I can take.

Corrosion
resists change.

All choices eliminated,
time crumples into
silent weeping.

Your answer is Grace
and it is sufficient.
Liquefied pain falls
like rain and all that is I
diminishes.

Closed eyed, clarity
and breathing gradually
become consensual.

Angered into boldness, previous hostility
is now subdued into
hushed pliability.
Faith whispers
Lord if break
I must
then...

[This message has been edited by jellybeans (11-06-2003 02:59 PM).]

EvocativeVerse2
Senior Member

since 2003-09-10

Posts 1279

1 posted 2003-11-06 11:49 AM

Oh wow! Now I feel like there is so much I still need to learn about how to write exquisite poetry. This is wonderful jellybeans. You really pulled me through the verse with an eagerness to capture for but a moment each word spoken. Well done! #1 favorite poem of the day!

Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history!

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

2 posted 2003-11-06 11:57 AM

Closed eyed, clarity
and breathing gradually
become consensual.

~*~

I've a hug
that contains a powerful
glue known only to friends,
poets, and little kids...

teenpoet
Member

since 2001-10-17

Posts 280
Michigan

3 posted 2003-11-06 12:02 PM

I truly like this one, it would so nice if I could write so...eloquently. And you're so true to Him. That's admirable.

I only know myself...and even that I don't know well.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

4 posted 2003-11-06 12:11 PM

"Corrosion
resists change."

That line is one of those lines that makes the reader go "oh my, yes"..

"if you won't let me fall for you
then you won't see the best that I would love to do for you"
~Dido~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

5 posted 2003-11-06 12:27 PM

at least you can talk to Him

Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

6 posted 2003-11-06 12:43 PM

I love this

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

7 posted 2003-11-06 01:56 PM

gosh if I listened to you all, I might start to think I can write *smile*
I felt this so inadequate when I posted, but your comments help greatly.

Thank you all so much *jb smiles*

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

8 posted 2003-11-06 02:03 PM

ps... He is listening, even when there are no words, He is waiting to hear *your* voice *smiles and hugs*

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

9 posted 2003-11-06 02:51 PM

Two things I "know" are that you are correct,
he does listen
and I also "know" that this truly is incredibley exquisite writing and your talent shines in this extraordinary write.
Hugs.

It's better than I could have planned..
it's made me who I am...
{Trace Adkins}

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

10 posted 2003-11-07 02:44 PM

Liquefied pain falls
like rain and all that is I
diminishes.

There are so many lines I could have chosen... they're all excellent. But this... this aches. {{{{{Hugs}}}}}

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

11 posted 2003-11-07 03:03 PM

Closed eyed, clarity
and breathing gradually
become consensual.
lady... is it consesual... or resigned?

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