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Open Poetry #29
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You know where not to come when you need a shoulder to cry on
| Open Poetry #29 |
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You know where not to come when you need a shoulder to cry on |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA 
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~You know where not to come when you need a shoulder to cry on Oh this I know Did you forget I already learnt that one? You quickly forgot when he died and quite simply I needed you didn't you? Walking in the rain I remember the downhill slope of pavement laden with belongings a sign? It's all downhill from here... Minutes before I board train to meet you the only way you ever told it coward the faceless telephone I could not fit around your plans this weekend sorry honestly so sorry I can hear the echo now And I fought for you to change your mind as you pretended you were doing it for me for me? was it ever anything more than for you The tingle of my skin says no here and now in this very moment I write See love you never let me know you needed me for silence unanswered messages to me says the opposite The drowning movements the heart makes under a raging storm upon ocean was mine fighting for your resucitation screaming for end and from that moment it was just that . . . |
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| © Copyright 2003 gj - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
screaming for end... ~*~ I would like to see this in CA. You ask for critiques, I think the accomplished poets in CA could give you a few hints to take this poem and make it as edgy as you want it, because it gives [to me] the opening of a volume that is universal to all. You spoke to two sides of the coin... a man, as well as a woman, could have written this. I'm glad you did. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Fantastic!! Gawd...I think I have all your work filed now.  Hugs~ ~Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile~ |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
A pleasure to read...James |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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froggy Senior Member
since 2003-06-23
Posts 1893Michigan |
Excellent. I like this. :-) |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssssss) Oh Gemma, this is powerful, sweet friend, you always write with pure depth and honesty and with true organic heart, yay, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Gemma, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
you know gem . . . this blew me away I loved the thought, no I heard and felt that thought those feelings, the anger bittersweet angst Godd you are writing beautifully but you always have . . . xxoo |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
You just get better and better, don't you? Just when I thought it isn't possible.. Library. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
You've gone and done it again gemjop. Always a pleasure to read you. Maree  fate is not just |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Gemma~ We grow from the ache to the rage ... when that's what it takes~ GREAT WRITE~ 'The drowning movements the heart makes under a raging storm upon ocean was mine' Priceless is this~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
gawd! this aches! |
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