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| Open Poetry #29 |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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an index finger pressed lightly sounding Middle C timid hands in ache of next pretense of some poetry cock my head and tilt the ear a cigarette on bottom lip as if I were an old black man pain bled from the sag of me sustain I reach dramatically for the glass in lay of ring on the maple finished wood as the chill drops sweat upon fingerstaining ivory. [This message has been edited by serenity blaze (10-15-2003 03:31 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
Well, yeah. You've gotta suffer to sing the blues. Great imagery! Really great. Thank you for sharing. This is the last one I read tonight, the one I take to bed with me. Thanks. |
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QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
enjoyed your write n read,,, |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
This one..I understand.. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Now...this one needed me to read it today... Thank you, Serenity... from one heart to another, especially for the middle C |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
beautiful song here sweet thing |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
nice  |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
well if you gotta suffer to sing the blues, then we should form a duo.....nice work on this one lady....I felt it in my middle |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
K - you know I saw this, (you knew that though) you sitting . . lips clenched on smoke . . . fingers tapping keys . . . ohh so lightly though . . . pain bled from the sag of me (God how do you do this?) and as the ashes fell . . . I heard a sighhhhhhhhhhh *smile*  xxoo [This message has been edited by littlewing (10-15-2003 02:54 PM).] |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
there you are in the spotlight again, sparkling images in the insides of the head and each one of them looking great ... love Pink Floyd, love your reference to the song, love the way this poem is worded... have always loved reading you... thank you regards sudhir |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
now you just led me to listen to the song... AGAIN...  |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
It sounds like we both try to use music to soothe the soul! Kinda on the same subject, but with a different take, you might like to read my second posting called "Beware the Metronome." I'm going to post it now. (I try to write down what I hear in my head and sometimes I have to use a little help from my friend, the metronome. I'm kind of scared to post it, because the title is so blah...) Keep on tapping those keys. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
You sure can sing the blues lady... Love this...light the lights! ~Hugs~ ~Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile~ |
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allamericanjoe Member
since 2003-10-02
Posts 116Iredell county, NC |
I love this, artful imagery of another art. Well written, very much enjoyed! JD "The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time" ~James taylor~ |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
serenity...loved the build up of feeling through the imagery, and then the last..and perfect ending. Fabulous! |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
""Here" an index finger pressed lightly sounding Middle C timid hands in ache of next pretense of some poetry cock my head and tilt the ear a cigarette on bottom lip as if I were an old black man pain bled from the sag of me" Gawd...Karen?...no one pens a picture quite like you...NO ONE... This just comes alive... with the life that is YOU Love you, lady...  When the power of love overcomes the |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thanks all, so very much. And yanno? It occurs to me that I really should quit dropping ashes on my keys... frown. I should go clean that, huh? Love to all.   Thanks again. |
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