Open Poetry #29 |
![]() ![]() |
pathology of pathetic |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
pandonov Member
since 2003-10-03
Posts 478b/w conscience and insolence ![]() |
fated. ethereality of your gaze, i remember. stare, tunneled through my hollow. and the flower that you were, a predator... you told me, yet i pretended ephemeral. from my time to your effigy, i saw it short. not a circle paved with my sane, i'm sane-less now, not to share anymore. stoned mind invited realities. i built my own, for the price of few hours. music or madness, feeling waveless, and the "Gigolo Aunt" is in my ears, climbing up. the bite you did, i know you took a piece and the hole, i hide behind thoughts. [This message has been edited by pandonov (10-14-2003 01:33 PM).] |
||
© Copyright 2003 petre h andonov - All Rights Reserved | |||
Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
I like this though I would suggest you tighten it a bit it sometimes fades into a ramble..although, maybe that's why i like it, a raw honest release..hmmm I dunno quite frankly i'm out of my mind at the moment so... |
||
Cpat Hair![]()
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
(chuckling).. well.. I'll not hit you.. but will offer that if tightened a bit and sharpened on the imagery level, this could be very good.. as it is..as Raph offered it gets lost a bit in the ramble... now... off to see what else you have offered out for the world to see. |
||
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
pandonov Agree with the above. |
||
pandonov Member
since 2003-10-03
Posts 478b/w conscience and insolence |
thx all, i know it sux, for i was just a spectator, when wasted mind wrote it |
||
![]() ![]() |
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |