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| Open Poetry #29 |
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Alive |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981
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Fire rising from the ashes flesh as pale as October snow, it comes when you least expect it, melting every fiber in me, shaking me to the core just a memory pressing face against the window- beckon forth siren of the sea, dead eyes calling. take me underwater, listless gaze and limbs inert raise you from the dead- it is not hard to fall for loss of pride I will melt the ice from your eyes, I will breathe the frost from your cheeks, I will lift you to your feet, I will draw you a circle- erase the lines of the square, and bring the center back to you I will wash the dust away, I will wipe the filth from your face remold you and unfold you- let the earth mourn loss of blood, let you mourn loss of mind field of dreams, and poppy blooms give me sleep, to dream of you: the you that is still alive, the you that breathed before you vanished and a stranger stole your face. when the city lights shine bright again, I will return you to existence (ugh...I had to tweak it one more time. I am never satisfied...I suppose because i am human  )And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!" -Tool [This message has been edited by Wind (09-23-2003 04:23 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Liz - All Rights Reserved | |||
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mytuesdaywishes Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 254a voice from the musicbox |
damn, no one does imagery quite like you do. i can see and feel every word. you're a wonderful poet. cant wait to read more. and even when everything was wrong, and we were mad at the world, it was still beautiful. |
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IndigoEve Member
since 2003-01-10
Posts 279Etched in the illusion of time |
amazing liz. For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
thanks very much guys. i had to write something or gem would kill me by friday  And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!" |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
My, my Wind, seems you have grown up overnight! Very wonderful write. Chris  Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time like dew on the tip of a leaf. -Tagore |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Still your writing is so amazing for your years Liz!! You must be an old soul. Wonderful write...much enjoyed. ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Oh Liz, this is beautiful, sweet friend, I know Gemma will find this absolutely what she ordered as your poetry continues to go leaps and bounds! (kiss on cheek) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Liz, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
Yet another addition to my library. |
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devin_lupus New Member
since 2003-09-22
Posts 9Ohio, USA |
Wow! This reminds me of Ophilia although I'm not quite sure why... Very good imagery and good impressions this one leaves. Very well done. |
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angelblueyes Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148Oklahoma |
Great imagery and wonderful words. Crystal |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
this one brought me a drifting mood after I read it good stuff |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Liz, good God this spoke to me so today that look of life gone from face Ohh mann . . . this is a revival and you . . . the light Beautiful xxoo |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
you may not sweat poetry... but you craft it well, from bits of soul and heart, that you try to hide..in off hand dry remarks, a smart mouth, and an odd sense of humor... ( chuckling) You got soul kid... lots of it, you just aren't quite sure how to deal with it inside yourself yet... very well done Wind... well done indeed. |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Liz don't insult yourself, you're not human! You're better..grins |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Liz, This poem is drugged with the possibility of chance, and change.  |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
raise you from the dead- it is not hard to fall for loss of pride I will melt the ice from your eyes, I will breathe the frost from your cheeks, I will lift you to your feet, I will draw you a circle- erase the lines of the square, and bring the center back to you I will wash the dust away, I will wipe the filth from your face remold you and unfold you- let the earth mourn loss of blood, let you mourn loss of mind My goodness, Liz...you have outdone yourself on this one, little lady. Awesome writing, my friend. I'm keeping this one!! hugs  Ethel |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
oh..wow thanks everyone  Noah- I hope she will. the girl hasn't seen it yet though. Nancy- glad you feel that way Meg- lol...thats what you say every time. your library must be pretty windy..and slightly bizzare devin_lupus- I've heard it somewere...better check you on that. and welcome Crystal- you are a very sweet person and your replys make me smile Dixie- that was the point...glad it worked Sue- you are wonderful and thank you. you help me lean towards grey rather than black and actually Cpat sir, this is not what I act like or even think like, but sometimes I just sit down and these words pop out. but I am sure there is a lot of soul in there, and yes I have a strange sense humor... Raphael...If i weren't human I wouldn't have fault, and you know that's impossible. Mikey you should like it..you inspired it. And Ethel Mae..you are learning about dark and I think it is important to learn about everything. I am glad someone romantic like you can enjoy this And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!" |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Wow, really? Was it Through the end of winter? |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
Nope it was the one... oh...give me a second fist breath...I think it was called. And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!" |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
I will draw you a circle- erase the lines of the square, and bring the center back to you Myyyyy oh my...its been a busy week. but, (when my comp finally let me come here) I have this to read. woooooo hoooooo. wayyyyy more interesting than human biology and all the rest i'm studying (yawning through) in classes Those lines stood out to me liz, god, they could stand alone as a poem, one of them short ones. (dunno what called?) senryu? And, of course I bloody love it! Though i am incredibly late...sorry, back at college, and its hectic. what been up to then lizy? any more works of art/genuis i should know about? aaargh this bit....before you vanished and a stranger stole your face aaaargh why isnt this my poem? i hereby steal it. not really. Instant karma's gonna get you. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
I like your title for First Breath better. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Wind, this is soul food. Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
actualy twas also the song wisper. thats like the coolest song ever...with the people chanting and stuff. but heck..I'm a weirdo so... was goning to call it dead or alive but my scary titles have a tendancy of scaring people away Naw...I like your title better. I had to try so hard not to say bring you to life or something. but..my brain started talking. And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!" -Tool [This message has been edited by Wind (09-25-2003 07:45 PM).] |
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