Open Poetry #28 |
women in the waiting room--three classics |
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
schubert-- opened door imprompt B flat major sat-- and her daughters drifted in grace of elbows tomboy grins stopped there at my stare--begin-- the proper play that I would write. debussey-- clair-de-lune she blushed stark and lean and carelessness something in her wondering if she was as beautiful as my eyes painted her... a debutante without a clue-- I watched the youngest follow suit. Mozart with a playful hand-- divertimento understood I watched her underneath my brow-- noting she stood when they stood-- and when they sat with ankles crossed, she frowned and mimicked without grace she grabbed a magazine and faked blushing knowing that I saw... "Oh-you-are-so-beautiful." That is what I saw today. A Mother, sister, and the kid, and the way they tilted head whispered to each other, "see?" smiling secrets family-- I painted them within my mind. |
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© Copyright 2003 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Thanks for this classical peep-show -- you pinned 'em like butterflies in a display case..... ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Just when the HELL are you gonna get serious about getting published! You're starting to [annoy]me off now. You need to be read, witch! Ok, I'm better now. But do work on it, huh? Lub ya, ~yeti [This message has been edited by wranx (08-15-2003 01:28 PM).] |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
serenity You are an artist of color and emotion...so human in the way you speak your heart, so fragile and strong. I loved this! |
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angelblueyes Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148Oklahoma |
You paint these images well with your words.You are the essence and the soul of a great poetess angelblueyes |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Like this spicy slice of life...James |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Okay, so I admit it took me a moment to get what was going on....blame it on the full moon... The descriptions were outstanding! (as always). I loved every word. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I think you are classic... I am enjoying your words, especially lately. hugs M |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoy your read |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
You are all so kind, and it didn't take much to write this one. Those three ladies were pure poetry already--all I did was point 'em out to you. I LOVE people--I could sit at a table at a sidewalk cafe' and just watch them all day... and? I'm an incorrigible eavesdropper too! Thanks for the yummy compliments. Hugs to all. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Heehee you're a classic Sis and so is tis poem. And... what "Yeti" said! this is a Maree fate is not just |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
I turn this over in my hands each facet has my eyes in a quickening subject...artist...canvas...music subjectartistcanvasmusic spinning a diamondhard light to pierce me you take my breath, love |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
"Oh-you-are-so-beautiful." That is what I saw today. A Mother, sister, and the kid, and the way they tilted head whispered to each other, "see?" smiling secrets family-- I painted them within my mind. Karen, sweet Lady, this is beautiful. Just amazing writing. Hugs Ethel |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thank you, and unlike the amazing Corinne, who wrote this amazing poem, Cecelia's escape /pip/Forum81/HTML/000934.html I can't say that I have that grace or ability. These ladies were so real--and I have to thank Bri, because in a conversation later that day, as I described them to him, he said that I "must write" them--so thank you Bri, for pointing out the naturally occurring poetry of the beauty of people. You are evidence that my faith in that beauty is not misplaced. Thanks all once again for your kindness, and your continued generosity in replies. Love to all. |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
Oh my god, back to the top with this m lady. I cannot speak, but know its goin in my library. Instant karma's gonna get you. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Shoot. What they said, little girl. Get with it. |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
Sometimes, you remind me of King, in his more poetic of moments.. Which is often, if you're a fan, you know.. You really have a style that's all your own, of course. I love it |
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KristieSue
since 2003-01-31
Posts 1460PA, US |
ditto dittoditto dittoditto dittoditto dittoditto dittoditto dittoditto dittoditto dittoditto dittoditto dittoditto dittoditto dittoditto dittoditto dittoditto dittoditto dittoditto dittoditto dittoditto dittoditto dittoditto dittoditto dittoditto dittoditto ditto figured that would cover it since everyone else said it anyway ;-p Failure isn't failure if a lesson from it is learned ~ KS |
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El_Campeador Senior Member
since 2003-01-29
Posts 761Ohio, USA |
You painted a picture perfectly, Karen. “We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best that we can find in our travels is an honest friend.” –Robert Louis Stevenson |
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