Open Poetry #28 |
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Syl-la-bles of You |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines ![]() |
Syl-la-bles of You I listened as my words were spoken by another always in song, but never ours. I worshipped the want of you, embraced each moment not realizing that a part of me was missing the meaning of you. It was in your voice always but the eyes held me, captured the blue in me, softening the past connecting me to the now, but never promising tomorrow. I wanted to be endorsed have you underwrite me pledging that my heart was no longer a testing ground, but was subscribed to by you. So I break down my syllables now... words al-ways play-ing in my head each night lips mov-ing pray-ing to make the next day eas-i-er, tuck-ing my feel-ings be-tween the lines as I close my eyes to lov-ing you and let my words sung by oth-ers lull me in-to yes-ter-day. M "Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less." (Will Moss) [This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (08-15-2003 09:39 AM).] |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
You successfully stress your feelings here dear Maureen. It is so sad. Wishing you to sing full voice, together in love. Love, Margherita ![]() |
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bslicker![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321state of mind |
song sung by other's, even if your own words music still playing. ![]() bernie A smile a day keeps the world in smile's. |
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garysgirl![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
words al-ways play-ing in my head each night lips mov-ing pray-ing to make the next day eas-i-er, tuck-ing my feel-ings be-tween the lines as I close my eyes to lov-ing you and let my words sung by oth-ers lull me in-to yes-ter-day. Maureen, I really enjoyed reading this. That last verse really made the words stand out. Very good writing, Lady. ![]() Hugs ![]() Ethel |
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
Maureen, your fresh metaphors really caught my attention in this one -- I especially liked: I wanted to be endorsed have you underwrite me That's an obvious metaphor I've never come across before or even thought of using -- very crisp! I could also feel the inspiration in this moving write. Well said! -MVS You CAN make a difference: |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Margherita, yes stressin' out my feelings ![]() thanks M bslicker, that's right..I have the music flowing at least in my words ![]() Ethel, words were meant to stand out in that verse.. I just couldn't get it to work without the hyphens ![]() MARK, I was writing, not sure why I thought about it like this..maybe I was thinking about my insurance bill sitting here...not yet paid ...and then endorsing a check I have here...funny how that happens ![]() Thank you M |
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